


The Upper Hand

by NDP_1



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Craquaria - Freeform, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NDP_1/pseuds/NDP_1
Summary: So i'm an idiot and deleted the entire fic because i was having a bad day and instantly regretted it.I will have to go back and fix the formatting and minor errors in the previous chapters so please bear with me.(Sorry for being an impulsive asshole x)





	1. Chapter 1

Snow fluttered down from the sky and the frosty air bit at Max’s nose as he and Katelyn hurried from the cab into the hotel. Miz Cracker was booked with a host of other Season 10 girls to perform in London that evening. He was looking forward to it; it would be the perfect chance to re-connect with his sisters, having been scattered across all four corners of the globe in the chaotic whirlwind that had followed the cast announcement.

Once situated in the pleasant twin room that had been booked for them, both Max and Katelyn sprawled out on their beds, taking the opportunity to grab a couple of rare hours of sleep before Max needed to be up and painted ready to put his best foot forward as Cracker. Max was utterly exhausted from the relentless travel, the only thing keeping him going being the thought of all of the fans and people who loved and supported his cooky alter ego and the thought of spending some time with the girls from the show. Wrapped up in the same whirlwind they understood what this crazy experience was like. It was thinking about the changes to his entire life that had occurred recently that Max fell into a deep sleep, only waking when Katelyn shook his shoulder and handed him a redbull.

Arriving at the venue Max had barely taken two steps backstage when he heard Monet’s distinctive peel of laughter. Max smirked happy in the knowledge that one of his best friends was in the next room. It had been too long since they had had the opportunity to just hang out in Bob’s apartment, getting ready together and trying to convince Monet to wear anything other than a kitty cat wig. Obviously he wouldn’t change how things had turned out, apart from maybe the crown ending up on Cracker’s head, but of late he had been longing to be back in the cramped apartment he shared with one of his best friends and regaining some sort of normality. Living out of suitcases was fun to start with, however once the constant jet lag set in and you were having to be reminded right before going on stage which city you were in to avoid any embarrassing situations, the novelty soon wore off.

Later that evening Cracker was standing at the side of the stage watching Kameron buck and twirl up a storm, waiting for the finale where all of the queens would take over the stage for a final kiki. Monet came up beside him and nudged him in the ribs, pointing out towards the audience.

“Have you seen who’s here?”. Cracker scanned the faces in the audience looking to see if he recognised anyone.

“Towards the back”, Monet whispered, “your twin”. Simultaneously he zoned in on the perfect alabaster face and chiselled features and his palms began to sweat.

“I didn’t expect to see Aqua here tonight” he said brusquely, trying not to make it obvious that the mere sight of the other man was having an overwhelming effect on him.

“Having some time off and spending time with friend’s here apparently, she’s coming to the bar after we’re done so we can all party. You coming?” Monet asked, searching Cracker’s face for any signs of emotion. Max would not give anything away and shrugged noncommittally.

His relationship with Aquaria was tricky to say the least. He never know what he was going to get, with her or Gio. Following their brief run in on the show they had both agreed off camera that neither wanted the narrative that the producers seemed adamant on forcing. Prior to the show they had been friends, but when Gio had suddenly dropped out of Max’s life it had caught him off-guard and left him wondering what could have possibly happened to warrant the sudden disappearing act. During the show Max had his walls up from the go, not wanting the eyebrow situation or any other Aquaria adjacent drama to feed into his story line. What had confused him the most however was that there were occasions where he would glance up from his workstation and see Aqua watching him in the mirror, or times when his hand would brush past his and linger a second or two longer than you would expect. This had sent Max into a tailspin wondering what on earth it all meant and whether or not he was just being paranoid, letting the competition get the best of him.

He didn’t want to admit it, to himself or anyone else, but he knew he had feelings for the younger queen; however these were buried under layers of resentment and confusion at the way he had suddenly disappeared and his determination that there was not a hope in hell that Gio would know what he really felt. He did not want to give the boy anything he could use to his advantage. Max couldn’t do it to himself again, he knew allowing Gio to have the upper hand would be the end of him. Right now was not the time to be thinking of this however and Max attempted to shake himself from his thoughts.

“I’m going to grab a drink” he told Monet before heading back to the, thankfully empty, dressing room and grabbing the vanity tightly with both hands. Looking in the mirror he whispered “you can do this. Just finish the show, say hi and then you can leave. You can be cordial goddammit”. He straightened himself, gave himself a once over in the mirror before turning on his heel and returning to the stage, just in time to close the show with his sisters.

Cramped into a corner table in a dingy bar Max sat with Monet, Asia, Kameron and Aquaria nursing a drink while listening idly to his sisters catching up and gossiping about the goings on in the last few months. Yuhau had last been seen running round the bar like a toddler who’d been given too much sugar.

“Cracker”. The sound of his name snapped Max back into the moment and he became conscious that everyone was staring at him.

“Sorry, this jet lag is killing me bitch, what did I miss?”.

“Aqua was just saying she wanted you to bend her over the table and have your wicked way” joked Kameron. Max’s head snapped round in confusion, glaring at Kameron when the entire table burst out laughing.

“They asked if you wanted another drink you dumb bitch”, Monet cackled. Max exhaled, chuckling awkwardly and confirmed that he definitely needed a drink.

“I’ll go”, he said, hoping to have a moment to wake the fuck up and sort himself out before he made a fool out of himself in front of everyone.

At the bar he ordered another round of drinks, including a round of shots. He needed the pick me up right now and nobody else was going to say no at this point. Max pulled his phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through instagram whilst he waited for the bartender to mix the drinks.

“Need a hand?” came a quiet voice just behind him. Turning round Max saw Gio prop himself against the bar and flash his signature cocky grin.

“You’re quiet tonight” Gio observed watching Max scroll through his feed. He glanced up and responded as casually as possible, “yeah just super tired” he smiled at Gio and returned his attention back to his phone.

“You’re not mad about what Kam just said are you?” Gio laughed, staring at him intently so that he could feel her eyes boring into the side of him.

“What?! No, don’t be ridiculous, it was just a joke. I’m a big boy, I can take a joke”.

Gio smirked, letting a quiet laugh escape his lips that made Max’s stomach clench.

“Good”, he said quietly, taking a step closer to Max.

“But for the record the only thing that was a lie was that it would be you bending me over and having your wicked way, big boy” Gio said with a wink, pulling back, grabbing his drink and twirling back over to the table. Max found his hands sweating and a pit forming in his stomach. He grabbed a shot and threw it back without thinking, ordering another.

“Oh shit”.


	2. Chapter 2

Max was staring intently out of the window of the cab at the passing streets reflecting on the evening. Tonight most definitely had not turned out as he expected it. After their brief interaction at the bar Max had returned to the table with the tray of drinks, sliding into his vacant spot next to Monet.

"Okay bitches time for shotssss" Max exclaimed dishing out the drinks to the waiting girls. Cracker was a defence mechanism he often relied upon when he didn't feel like Max was enough and, at this moment in time, he definitely needed some additional confidence.

"Are you forgetting I'm an old lady?!" Asia grimaced after throwing back the drink, "I swear you're trying to kill me".

For the rest of the evening they laughed and danced, Max staying close by Monet in a bid to avoid any possibility of Gio cornering him again. He didn't think his brain could cope with the amount of overthinking it would be in for if the alcohol wasn't successfully flowing through him doing exactly what he intended it to do. Later that night, standing outside in the small hours, Max shivered in the cold. Monet could be seen flirting with some trade further down the street while the remaining girls waited for their cab to arrive.

"Monet where are you going?" Max called as he saw the back of her head disappear inside a cab with a muffled "Sorry girl, love you" only just audible before the door closed and the vehicle pulled away.

"There goes your ride girl" Kameron laughed, "looks like you're coming with us Cracks".

This was how he found himself squished in the back seat of a cab, with Gio next to him and Kameron at the other side. Kameron was leaning over him and through the gap between the seats flirting with the driver while Gio was texting furiously. All of a sudden a palm grazed his thigh almost imperceptibly causing him to jump slightly. Looking down he saw Gio's hand pull back, grabbing his phone from where he had dropped it on his lap and continue casually texting without so much as looking at Max. Glancing up at his face Max could instantly tell that this was no accident. The provocative smirk working its way across Gio's face showing he knew exactly what he had done. He turned away, not wanting to allow Gio to see the confusion that he felt sure would be as clear as day on his face. Was something going to happen tonight? If Gio pushed it would he give in and go with it against all of his better judgement? Thanks to the alcohol earlier in the evening, the voices in the back of his mind that would normally be telling him to be reasonable were dulled, almost to non existence. Tentatively he placed his own hand where Gio's had just left, waiting to see if the younger man gave even a hint of acknowledgement. He didn't. Slowly, and with more courage than he normally would have had, he moved his hand across to Gio's thigh, leaving it where it fell, testing the waters. Gio made no indication that anything had happened but Max was emboldened by the fact that he also didn't make any effort to move away. Experimentally Max started rubbing his hand back and forth, squeezing Gio's thigh gently, the feeling of his firm flesh beneath his fingers sparking an arousal and hunger in him that was verging on indecent.

Kameron suddenly pulled herself back into her seat announcing that they were going to arrive at the hotel in a moment. She handed over some notes and blew a kiss to the driver before giggling and stumbling out of the cab.

"Come on losers" she said, leaning back in and grabbing Max's hand pulling him out onto the street.

Max laughed, "steady girl". Gio let himself out of the cab and strutted straight inside to the elevators, the others following in his wake.

"Which floors are you guys on?" Kameron questioned jabbing the number 9 on the control panel. "14", Gio and Max said in unison, turning to look at each other before Max diverted his gaze back to Kameron to avoid any awkwardness.

"Cute, neighbours", Gio continued before turning to Kameron and chatting to her about something that had happened earlier in the night. They all exchanged hugs as Kameron left the elevator, stumbling off in the direction of her room. With nobody else in the elevator and the silence thick in the air, the doors seemed to take an age to creak closed before they started to move again.

Neither said a word and when they reached the 14th floor they both exited, starting down the corridor towards their respective rooms. Gio stopped first, causing Max to pause and turn towards him momentarily, "Night Gio", he muttered with an awkward smile, moving on towards the door of his own room.

"Max, wait... do you want to come in for a minute? I mean... only if you want to... you don't have to". Max noted that Gio's voice seemed confident but the pauses told a different story. What did this mean? Max made a split second decision deciding to worry about what it meant tomorrow.

"Sure" he breathed, not worrying at this point about how obvious it was that he wanted this.

The first room they entered was a spacious living area; with colourful modern prints on the wall juxtaposed against the stark white furniture and walls.

"You have more than one room in here? You can tell who got that cheque girl.." Max said gazing round in disbelief at the suite that they had just entered, definitely a step up from the twin room he and Katelyn should have been sharing that night.

Gio silenced him by furiously crashing their lips together and forcing him up against the nearest wall, kissing him passionately. Gio placed his hands at either side of Max's head as he stared intensely into his eyes.

"Tell me to stop and I will", Gio teased, giving Max the opportunity to back out but knowing all to well that they were both along for the ride at this point.

Max looked up at his tormentor with a defiant gleam in his eye, locking their lips together fervidly, biting sharply on Gio's bottom lip and pulling his body closer to him, desperate to be as close as he physically could be to the object of his lust fuelled fantasies. A soft groan left Gio's lips and he took a sudden step back, gazing with unadulterated lust at the man in front of him as he eyed him up and down.

"I'm going to need you to take this off", he said gently tugging at the t-shirt that Max had pulled on after the gig. Eager to please Max yanked at the fabric, lifting it over his head and discarding it at his feet. He was still enclosed within Gio's arms and the intense feeling that he could not escape, even if he wanted to, was turning him on immensely.

Gio lowered his arms allowing his hands to run down Max's toned torso, tracing the muscles in his stomach and leaning forwards to place a soft kiss on Max's lips.

"Come", he beckoned, walking confidently through to the bedroom leaving Max, legs weak with anticipation, to follow at his heels like a puppy.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed Gio gestured for Max to stand in front of him. Max followed the request but decided to try and regain some control in the situation.

"Pull it together idiot" he thought to himself, concerned that if he let this go too far he would come before he had even removed his jeans, which were becoming uncomfortably tight despite his best efforts to control himself. Pulling up Gio's tank top he lifted it over his head, throwing it to the side. Gio grabbed frantically at the buckle on Max's belt, undoing the zipper in record time and dragging Max's jeans down as he slithered down the side of the bed onto the floor so that he was on his knees, looking up at Max with a look that Max recognised as intense longing, his eyes glazed over and unable to focus. Gio licked the outline of his ever hardening cock as he reached around and pulled at Max's boxers, allowing him to rub a finger briefly around Max's hole causing him to gasp.

"You know I haven't bottomed since-" started Max as Gio cut him off answering:

"2016, I know. Doesn't everyone? You wont be able to keep that catchphrase for much longer though" he said with a hint of mirth mixed in to his playful tone as he began pulling Max's underwear down, fully releasing his cock which was promptly enveloped in a wet heat, causing Max to throw his head backwards, clenching his hands and moaning.

"Stop... Gio, I don't want to come yet." Max panted pitifully, almost a whimper, looking directly into the eyes of the younger man. Max took his hands and guided him to his feet, drawing him back into a frenzied embrace, grabbing and pulling at Gio's dark hair as he deepened the kiss, licking his tongue between Gio's lips to part them so they could share even more of each other. Tugging at Gio's trouser's it wasn't long before they were both completely naked; hands roaming, exploring every inch of skin, wanting to experience this moment to the fullest.

Reluctantly pulling away and stepping back towards the bed Gio instructed Max to lie down and began rummaging in one of the cabinets, resurfacing shortly thereafter with two small containers. One he threw to Max who read the label. Poppers. He almost laughed, looking at Gio who just smirked saying "well it's been a while... I thought it might help you to loosen up for lack of a better phrase. Now turn over". The other was a small bottle of lube which Gio had opened and was starting to cover his index finger with. Max rolled on to his front and Gio positioned himself between his legs on the bed, slowly working more lube onto his finger and pushing it slowly inside of Max. Max felt himself clench at the unfamiliar intrusion before reminding himself that this was nothing and that the best was yet to come. He felt Gio gently build up the speed with which he inserted the finger, and then a second, curling them round to hit the spot that elicited the most intense moans from his mouth. Max arched his back, raising his ass further into the air, silently begging for more.

"Are you sure baby?" Gio asked quietly, pulling out his lube slicked fingers and massaging his entrance gently. Max was surprised at the tenderness that Gio was showing which was only driving him even more insane.

"Yes" he declared forcefully. At that, he heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and shortly after felt the head of Gio's cock teasing around his entrance, slowly circling until he couldn't bare it anymore and he groaned "just do it you fucking tease", the anticipation and nerves getting the best of him. At this remark Gio slowly pushed in, waiting for Max to accommodate his size, gently circling and thrusting his hips. Max's responses were guttural as Gio teased him.

"Is that good big boy?" he purred in Max's ear, harking back to their conversation at the bar earlier that night. Max craned his head round, searching for Gio's mouth to latch onto, panting and groaning as Gio's mouth reached down to his, his lips trembling with every thrust. Hooking his arm around Gio's he grabbed at his hand, desperately, as pleasure rolled it's way through his entire body, lacing their fingers together tightly. Max could tell that his lover was close and pushed back forcefully at Gio's next thrust, clenching his muscles around Gio's throbbing cock. Gio's entire body started to go ridged as he felt the intense flood of pleasure right before he climaxed. Max was on the verge of coming in the aftermath of Gio's orgasm. Meanwhile Gio had been drained of all energy and he collapsed on top of Max, panting and planting soft kisses on his shoulders before rolling off of him, spent.

Max rolled on to his back, looking across at Gio, noting only how beautiful he looked covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his breathing still heavy and his eye's closed in exhaustion. Reaching down, he gently touched his own sensitive member, beginning to jerk up and down slowly, aiming for his own release. Suddenly another hand replaced his own and he felt Gio reposition himself on the bed so that he could watch as he brought Max to orgasm. The intensity of Gio's gaze pushed Max over the edge and it wasn't long before every muscle in his body tightened and he felt himself coming over Gio's hand. Gio kept working his hand up and down, seeing out the duration of the most intense orgasm Max had ever had. Gio grabbed a tissue and began to clear up some of the mess they had made.

"Gio that was..", Max started before being interrupted.

"Shh", the younger man whispered, reaching for Max and pulling him into his arms.

"Sleep" he muttered, placing a barrage of small, gentle kisses down the back of his neck before relaxing against the older man and drifting off. Sleep didn't come so easy to Max who lay awake, reflecting on how nobody had ever succeeded in making him feel as secure and wanted as he did right now in Gio's arms. In the back of his mind he knew that this feeling of contentment was unlikely to stick around but for the first time in a long time, Max felt fully relaxed finally dropping into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Max rolled over groggily and saw a shock of black hair on the pillow next to him, a stark contrast to the crisp white sheets of the upmarket hotel. Sunlight was starting to filter in between the gap in the thick curtains and he became aware of a dull thudding behind his eyes. Remembering how much he had to drink last night Max winced, shifting slightly and scanning the room to try and locate his missing items of clothing.

"What am I doing?" he thought to himself, mentally reprimanding himself for getting into this situation. As much thought as he had given this scenario; imagining it playing out in every possible way, now that he was here every fibre in his body was telling him he had made the wrong decision stepping into Gio's room last night.

He was starting to panic whilst simultaneously trying to hold it together in a bid to avoid waking Gio up. Max's brain was running all of the options he now faced in his head. Should he leave before Gio wakes up, pretend that this never happened and just move forwards with his life? The idea terrified him as he didn't want to contemplate a future that didn't include Gio in some shape or form. The alternative however was all the more panic inducing. Should he stay and face the feeling's that he'd been pushing to the back of his mind since it became apparent that Gio didn't feel the same way? Did he let Gio know that everything that had happened last night felt right and that he had been hoping for this to happen since they got back to New York City after the madness of the Race?

In the cold light of day, with no alcohol to act as a buffer between him and having to face his actions, Max didn't know in which direction to turn. He didn't know whether this meant more than a one night stand to Gio or was just the effects of a heavy night out and the bad choices that ensue.

All too soon the decision was made for him as Gio groaned and his eyelids fluttered open. Gazing blearily at Max with his dark eyes framed in thick lashes he whispered "morning" before reaching blindly for his phone to check the time. "Ugh" he groaned, dropping his phone at his side as he saw the time. "It's so freakin' early, why aren't you sleeping? This time is ungodly", he rolled onto his side to better look at Max in the dim light.

Max pushed himself up, resting on his arms and looked at his own phone. Eight fifty-two.

"I should get going" he muttered and began to throw his legs over the side of the bed. Gio reached out and placed his hand on Max's arm.

"Wait, what? You don't need to go just yet do you?" said Gio suddenly sounding more awake and with an edge of nervousness tinging his voice. Max turned to look at him and saw a needy look lingering behind the younger mans eyes. Max didn't know how to play this, he couldn't find words that seemed adequate given the circumstances.

"But Gio... it's time for breakfaaast?" he blurted out forcing a laugh before colouring from head to neck at the cringe worthy attempt at humour to alleviate just how uncomfortable he felt in that moment.

Gio rolled his eyes and tugged at his arm and he allowed himself to be pulled back into the expansive bed which suddenly seemed significantly smaller. Heat was radiating from Gio's body and the mere proximity of the other man was enough to make his breath catch.

"Should we talk about this... whatever it is?" stuttered Gio thankfully ignoring Max's comment as Max manoeuvred himself to face the source of his unease. Avoiding eye contact Max noted the seemingly casual nature of Gio's tone and kicked himself for being so affected by the lilt of his voice and the way that Gio's hair stuck up at odd angles from his head, when this obviously wasn't a big deal to beautiful boy lying next to him.

"What is this?" Max countered, glancing quickly at Gio and noting that the expression of mocking and dominance he was expecting there was absent.

"Iconic?" Gio joked tentatively. Max chuckled lightly, the tension that was building up in his chest easing slightly.

"You millennial's are so meta".

"Seriously though", Gio said sitting up and turning so he was resting on one arm looking directly at Max, "was this a one time thing or..?". Max raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Do you want it to be? I thought maybe you just had a lot to drink and..". Gio snorted and covered his eyes with his hands, rubbing at his temples while he considered his response.

"Can we not complicate things with labels Max? I mean, isn't there enough pressure with everyone thinking we hate each other and our schedules and whatnot? Can't we just.. let this be something", Gio searched for the word, "uncomplicated for a minute?".

The older man raised himself up higher his anxiety lessening when it became apparent that he wasn't being discarded or rejected... for now.

"I can do that" he said, glancing down at Gio's lips, the memory of the passionate kisses from the night before arising along with a stirring elsewhere. He leaned down placing a tentative and brief kiss on the plump lips of the younger man who did not respond instantly. After what seemed like an eternity Gio reached up, sliding his fingers through Max's hair and pushing it back off of his face before touching their lips together for a second time, more forceful this time, a wanton look in his eyes. Gio pulled away, disentangling himself from the sheets and straddling Max, pulling him towards him so their bodies and lips were meshed together in a tangle of limbs and groans as Max felt Gio's body react to the feeling of him running his fingers softly down Gio's spine.

The moment was broken by the sound of an incessant buzzing coming from Gio's phone which had tumbled off of the bed in the midst of the make out session. Gio sighed, leaning over and hanging off the side of the bed, grabbing his phone and reading the screen.

"It's Stawecki, he can wait" he mumbled throwing his phone onto his pillow after silencing the call. He turned back to Max, leaning in to resume where they had left off, when the phone rang again. Max glanced down at the caller ID and noted that Gio's friend and assistant was not giving up.

"Ignore it" Gio sighed frustratedly taking hold of Max's face in an attempt to refocus his attention.

"Answer it" Max said looking directly into Gio's eyes. He looked confusedly back at Max who leaned forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. He pulled back slowly and forcefully whispered, "answer it", a glint in his eye. Gio did as he was told, reaching over to where he had thrown his phone to the other side of the bed.

"Hey Jordan, what's up?" he stated, still with some confusion in his voice as he looked at Max quizzically. Max could hear Jordan jump into an elaborate story at the other end of the phone, not even stopping for breath between sentences.

Max pulled Gio slightly forward so that he was straddling his waist again. Reaching down he took Gio's cock in his hand and started to pump up and down slowly but firmly, feeling powerful knowing that Gio was under his control. It was the only way he could allow this to continue, not wishing for Gio to know the allure he had over him. Max knew he had to re-establish his authority to protect himself, but that did not mean that he couldn't have some fun whilst doing so.

Gio gasped audibly at the sudden sensation and swatted at Max's hand halfheartedly. Max rubbed the precum that was starting to form across the sensitive head of Gio's cock as he listened to Gio's side of the conversation faltering.

"No everything's okay, I just.. uhm, stubbed my toe" Gio said hurriedly, looking into Max's eyes with a mixture of lust and frustration. Max chuckled under his breath as he quickened his pace, moving his hand faster and staring directly at Gio, relishing in the obvious effort it was taking for Gio not to make any noise which would give away what was going on.

All the while Gio was doing his best to focus on the conversation at hand, trying to ignore the sensation that was building in his stomach and the intense feeling of pleasure that was taking over him. Gio was trying desperately to get off of the phone. After holding out for as long as he could whilst Jordan delved into some drama that had occurred at the club the previous night Max heard Gio say "look can we catch up later? I've only just woken up and.... I'm running late. I have a fitting I... I need to get ready for". Gio garbled the last sentence, stuttering, his eyes rolling back as her his cock started to twitch uncontrollably. Ending the call and dropping his phone, he let a groan escape his lips as he came violently, growing weaker with every spurt that coated Max's chest. Panting, he collapsed on top of the smirking man who started to laugh.

"I'm glad you find that so funny, what if he'd heard?!" Gio scolded him when he had regained his composure. Max kissed him on the forehead turning to whisper in Gio's ear.

"Don't pretend you didn't love it".


	4. Chapter 4

Max shut the door to Gio's room quietly as he left, exhaling deeply and leaning back against the wall to support himself as soon as the door clicked shut. The events of the last twelve hours seemed surreal and he needed a moment. Or maybe more than just a moment to process this mess. Collecting himself he headed down the corridor, letting himself into the room that he and Katelyn were sharing, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb her. Max stopped abruptly when he saw his best friend nestled in one of the armchairs facing the door of the hotel room awaiting his return. She smiled and laughed at his obvious embarrassment at being caught sneaking back into the room.

"Well well, the wanderer returns I see... Good night?" she asked him smirking, getting up to put on the kettle and make them both some coffee. Max shrugged, caught off guard and mumbling that he would rather not talk about it right now before dashing into the bathroom and locking the door. Turning on the shower, he stripped and stepped into the scalding water, relishing in the way his skin was turning a vivid pink under the heat of the water. The pain felt real and comforting in contrast to the chaos of his mind as he tried to take stock of the situation.

Uncomplicated. They were going to let things be... uncomplicated. Max wasn't even sure if he knew how to do uncomplicated. The irony of his racing mind in conjunction with the simple phrase was not lost on him. He didn't want to think about how he had just had the best sleep he had in months. Didn't want to wonder it it was the amazing sex or the fact that Gio had him in his arms the entire night that caused it; and he distinctly didn't want to think about the fact that as much as he wanted it to, he didn't think he had it in him to let it happen again.

Once the high of Gio's orgasm had worn off they had spoken briefly. It had been unemotional, with neither giving away too much. Max had found himself pulling away from Gio after the adrenaline rush had worn off, remembering that he wasn't drunk anymore and couldn't blame the alcohol for his behaviour. Max recalled how contradictory Gio had been throughout the course of the conversation. His words were non-committal but his hands never stopped touching Max in some way, be it brushing a strand of hair behind his ear or rubbing his thumb across his thigh. When Max had sat up in bed, resting against the headboard Gio had instantly mimicked his action, shuffling himself even closer than he had been previously and resting his head on Max's shoulder. This was just another thing that he could puzzle over and over-analyse for the next... 50 years or so.

Vigorously rubbing shampoo through his hair he took a step out of the steaming water and looked down at his body. Marks he had not noticed the previous night, or in the scramble to re-dress this morning, became apparent to him. A soft purple flourish adorned his wrist where Gio had taken hold of him, with more bruises peppering his neck and shoulders. Glancing up in the mirror he saw that, even now, his lips were raw and pink from kissing. Stepping back into the stream of water he rinsed the shampoo from his hair, pressing his eyes shut tightly and letting the noise of the water engulfing him drown out his thoughts. A knock on the door brought him back to himself and he shut off the water, shouting "coming", and wrapping himself in a towel. He didn't want to face Katelyn right now but that wasn't an option. He entered the bedroom and began rummaging in his suitcase for some clean clothes. They had a rare day off today before travelling back to New York on a flight later that evening.

"So how's Giovanni feeling this morning?" Katelyn asked boldly, setting the coffee she had made them down on the bedside table next to Max and moving back to curl up in the armchair again with her own cup. Max froze before hurriedly digging to the bottom of his case, looking for nothing other than an excuse to not have to look his friend in the eye at that moment in time.

"I don't know, why do you ask?" he asked feigning indifference, trying to at least look unphased by her question, despite being anything but.

"Kam's already been by this morning", Katelyn responded before launching into a further explanation. "Wanted to know if you would go to the gym downstairs with him. He asked where you were and I told him you'd gone to the store. So you can thank me for covering for your ass by the way. He said you three came back together last night. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.." she finished softly. Her tone, originally jovial, had changed when she sensed a shift in the room, noting how Max could barely look at her.

"It's possible to put two and two together and come out with five" Max jested, plastering a smile on his face and laughing at his friend. Inside he felt his stomach tie in knots as he lied to Katelyn. He knew she just wanted to be there for him through whatever this was but he couldn't discuss this right now. Gio had asked that he keep this to themselves for the time being and he wanted to respect that. It also made sense to him given the level of scrutiny that they were all under, and if he couldn't get his head round it how could he expect anyone else to?

"I wasn't ready to sleep when we got back and I didn't want to disturb you so I went down to the hotel bar for a drink. There was a cute guy there, we got chatting and one thing led to another...I'm a mess" he shrugged, self deprecatingly. He looked up at his best friend, who knew him better than anyone else in the world, and could tell in an instant that she was not buying it.  
  
"Awesome, you can tell me all about it later. Shall we go out for breakfast?". Katelyn changed the subject and Max exhaled quickly, turning and confirming that he was starving with a smile.

"Just give me a second to change and we can go".

He returned his attention to his case, actually searching for something to wear before dragging on his clothes and grabbing his phone. He was just walking through the lobby of the hotel when a high pitched ping alerted him to a text. His heart skipped and his stomach twisted when he saw the name on his screen: Aquaria.

 **Aquaria:**  Last night was cute, see you in NYC next week?

He flushed, glancing up to make sure that Katelyn hadn't noticed how his face had turned a faint shade of pink and his breathing had faltered. She was oblivious, too busy searching her phone for somewhere they could grab some food. Max smiled as he started typing. He hadn't mentioned where he was going to be... Gio had taken the time to check when their schedules next lined up. Maybe there could be more to this than he initially thought. He hit send, smirking and quickening his pace to catch up with Katelyn who was now almost at the door.

 **Max:**  Stop stalking me...

 **Max:**  I'll see you there ;)


	5. Chapter 5

The following week was one of the longest Max had had to endure. If he wasn't obsessively stalking Gio's Instagram, thoughts of their last encounter were definitely not far away. Max felt like a teenager with a crush anxiously counting down the days until he would see the object of his affections. If it wasn't for the constant gigs and endless travelling Max knew for sure he would have been in serious trouble. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this intensely about anyone.

His last relationship had ended soon after he had gotten back to New York following filming. The end had been almost comically anti-climactic. He had known that the next year was going to be crucial for his career and that he had to throw himself into his work, knew that his priorities had to shift. And he was happy for them too. He didn't even give it a second thought before cutting ties and moving on. Thinking back on it, Max knew he should have ended the relationship sooner than he had and had no good reason as to why he had kept it going for so long. He felt bad for the way that things had ended, he wasn't heartless, the emotional part just didn't come as easy to him as it seemed to everyone else.

It made him deeply uncomfortable to talk about emotions. His own. Other peoples. Any of it. It made his skin crawl and his brain shut down, checking out of the conversation. It took a long time for him to build up the connections and bonds that he had with his close friends, and even they were few and far between. Whilst these people knew more about him than anyone else he still wasn't as open with them as he wanted to be. Max didn't truly understand the reason that he couldn't get passed this, but he had never been any different, even as a child. No matter how much he tried to work on himself and figure it all out he couldn't quite put his finger on it or change it. He found comfort in his solitude for the most part, enjoying not having to rely on anyone else. That didn't mean he didn't feel lonely on occasion, and the time he had spent with Gio had only highlighted that he was definitely going through one of these periods now. He couldn't figure out if the intensity of his feelings were for Gio specifically or if it was just the companionship that he had been craving and so anyone would have done in the moment. Unfortunately for Max he had an inkling that it may have been the former.

Max was jolted back to reality by Katelyn asking him for some details of the upcoming tour that they were planning. Miz Cracker would be taking her one woman show on the road and this is what should have been the focus of his attention; now and at all points until it was over, not Giovanni, their messed up relationship and whether or not it would work. Pondering the question Max scanned the crammed wooden bookshelf behind them looking for the file with the information that she needed about the travel plans.

"One second, they're in the binder on the shelf" Max said, stretching his tired muscles as he stood up to grab it, passing it across to Katelyn. Realising that he had thought of Gio and relationships in the same moment made Max feel nauseous. The fact that he couldn't manage simple tasks like making coffee or going to the wig store without wondering where Max was, what he was doing and whether they could do these things together made him want to crawl under his duvet and not resurface for a month. Something to do with the thought of him and Gio being together set off a physical reaction in him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up and a shudder running down the length of his body.

"You alright? You seem distracted".

Max winced. He felt overwhelmed, sitting down heavily on the sofa next to Katelyn, he leaned his head on his best friends shoulder looking for reassurance. "Why am I such a mess?" he asked out loud, wishing instantly that this thought had remained unspoken.

"What's wrong? You've got everything covered for the tour. You've got your look book and your costumes sorted, the writings all done... You need to stop being so hard on yourself Max" she sighed looking down at him, reaching around him to provide a reassuring hug. Max felt the floodgates open and before his brain had time to catch up with his mouth he found himself blurting out, "I know it's not that" he muttered, "I just don't do well with emotions and the like, you know me. And I feel like I have way to many emotions at the minute and I can't control it and I just don't know what I'm doing or whether I'm just overthinking things as per usual and I feel like my brain will implode if I-".

"Whoa, do you want to take a breath?" she laughed. "Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that this may have something to do with a tall dark haired young man who you're adamant you didn't share a room with last week?". Max groaned, throwing himself into the cushions dramatically; an unintelligible mumbling muffled by the seat.

"That was definitely, 'you're right Katelyn'" she said pommelling him with a cushion. "So you're crushing on Gio huh? What's wrong with that?". Max reluctantly sat up, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around himself tightly.

"So many things. He's a child Katelyn, I feel like a dirty old man. I just can't see it working. Can you imagine me out at all those ridiculous parties with him and his friends? I went to one when everything was still normal with us and we were friends and I felt so out of place. If he was ten years older it would be fine but we're both just in different places in our lives. I mean... what do we even have in common?" Max exclaimed looking at Katelyn, desperate for confirmation that he was right about this. Max was shocked when his expected response wasn't forthcoming. The only response his friend gave was a snort. "What?" Max said looking at her with his chin lifted defiantly.

"We both know that if he was five years, ten years, fifty years older we'd just be sat here having a conversation about the 900 other reasons it wouldn't work out. I love you boy but you're a mess".

After a pause Max chuckled, throwing the cushion across the sofa and hitting her on the side of the head. "You know me too well, you may have to be the next thing to go. You know too much goddammit!".

"All the more reason to keep me around!", she smirked. "I know all of your secrets! I could expose you!!" Katelyn cackled a maniacal laugh, which caused Max's sides to seize from laughing. He really appreciated her ability to lighten the mood and make him laugh when he was having one of his moments. "Seriously though, have you ever thought about just seeing where things go? I think he's more mature than you're giving him credit for. Worst thing that happens is that it doesn't work out and you move on. Either way, you have to snap out of it because you are way too busy to be moping. Plus he's cute, and there's obviously something thats making you consider going there a second time..." she laughed suggestively.

"Ugh, If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go bury my emotions deep inside me like a reasonable and responsible adult would, that is clearly the best option here" he responded laughing, knowing that she was probably right. "But seriously though, do you honestly think that it's a good idea?".

"Oh, I never said it was a good idea, I just said if you don't try you won't know" she responded matter of factly. Max's phone signaled an incoming text and Katelyn grabbed it from the cluttered table, which Max had found on the side of the street a couple of blocks away a year or so back, and glancing at the name before throwing it across to Max who caught it with ease. "Speak of the devil" his friend mused as Max looked down at the screen. Gio. "What's he said?" Katelyn asked as he continued to stare, not quite sure how he felt about the fact that three simple letters were causing his heart to beat faster and his palms to sweat. Anxiously unlocking his phone he read the message on the screen.

 **Gio:**  So I'm back a little early if you still want to hang out?

"He wants to hang out" Max answered, rubbing his palm up and down his thigh in a show of nervous agitation.

"And...?"

"And I guess I'm going to say yes or you will never shut up about it and like you pointed out I do not have time for that headache" Max jested, still not entirely convincing himself that he would be able to go through with it.

"Perfect" his friend responded cockily, flashing a huge grin and settling back in her seat watching. "Text him back then, best not keep lover boy waiting" she winked, laughing at Max's obvious discomfort. Max started and stopped texting numerous times, more than he would care to admit, struggling through several versions of the message before finally settling on a response and hitting send before he could change his mind again.

 **Max:**  What did you have in mind?

 **Gio:**  We could do drinks..? I know a cute new bar that just opened.

 **Gio:**  Or we could just skip the pleasantries and I could come over...

 **Max:**  10pm?

 **Gio:**  Perfect, see you then baby ;)

"He's going to come over later" Max said glancing up anxiously after the frenzied text conversation.

"Well then" Katelyn said glancing at her watch,"It's a good thing I have plans this evening. I'll take this as my cue to leave because you have to tidy this place up and I'm sorry but I'm not helping..." she said scanning the room pointedly drawing his attention to the sketches and wigs strewn across every available surface. Glancing over to the kitchen area he saw stacks of dishes and trash that needed to be taken out and groaned.

"You don't need to leave, it's not like that-" Max started. "I can almost guarantee that it is like that. And even if it isn't, I'm not sticking around to find out!" Katelyn laughed as she gathered her things and hugged Max tightly before heading for the door. "And I actually did have plans tonight, I have a life outside of Miz Cracker on occasion you know". Max smiled, shaking his head, telling his friend to have a good night, trying to recall where she was going tonight. She must have told him at some point but with everything that was going on he just couldn't remember. It occurred to him that she always went out of her way to bend over backwards for him and Cracker and he didn't feel like he had been that good of a friend lately, caught up in his own rubbish. He made a mental note to pay more attention and try and rectify that.

"Oh and you might want to shower before he arrives!" Max heard as the door slammed. Alarmed he cautiously lifted his arm and sniffed. "Goddammit", he said glancing at the time. Three minutes after nine. He had less than an hour to make himself and the apartment presentable. He looked round at the assorted drag paraphernalia scattered around before turning his back on the disarray, leaving the mess behind and heading for the bathroom. Katelyn was definitely right about one thing... he did need a shower.


	6. Chapter 6

**Gio:**  I'm finished at the club, you still up?

Max read the words on the screen and smiled. Gio had been back in New York for the past two weeks and had spent most nights, or early mornings anyway, after the gig in bed with Max in his dingy apartment. To Max's surprise, and against all odds, it had been incredibly uncomplicated and he was happy with how everything had been going. For the first time in a long time he felt content with the way everything was playing out. Work was keeping him busier than ever- he'd gotten back to his place less than ten minutes ago after his second gig of the evening- and he had a good thing going with an exquisite person whose very presence in the room would cause Max to break out in a dazzling smile. Even now flopped on the sofa, legs dangling over the side, in full drag and at the small hours of the morning, Max found himself smiling. He really wanted Gio to come over tonight, strangely craving a feeling of intimacy, remembering the way that Gio would hold him while he slept and how all encompassing that was. This was something he normally shied away from but with Gio he didn't even bat an eyelid. It was like Gio was the off switch that his mind had been missing for the last thirty something years. It was refreshing.

**Max** : Yeah, I just got back. Are you coming over?

Max replied, glancing quickly around the apartment and considering whether he should tidy up before Gio arrived, not having to wait for a response to know what the outcome was going to be.

A pattern had started to establish itself quickly. Gio would text Max and arrive at his apartment building shortly after, knocking confidently on the door. It had gotten to the stage where Gio was already pulling his clothing off before the door closed behind him. The pair would fall into bed, ravishing each other before falling asleep, limbs entangled and bodies pressed against each other tightly. In the morning Gio would lean over and plant a chaste kiss on Max's forehead before letting himself out. The very definition of uncomplicated surely, Max thought to himself proudly. Thankfully Katelyn had been utilising the time that Cracker could be New York based to visit family which had eliminated any possibility of awkward hallway interactions first thing in the morning. They were still keeping things to themselves for now. They hadn't talked about it since the first morning they had spent together in bed but Max was not ready for anybody else to know. When people knew information they seemed to think that it gave them the right to comment on it, which Max was definitely not ready for. He still wasn't entirely sure where this was leading, but was trying to focus more on the moment, and just enjoying the way things were now.

**Gio** : I'm outside ;)

Max chuckled, kicking off his heels before getting up to unlock the door. The response had taken literally 30 seconds to arrive, Gio had been there the whole time. He found him outside, leaning back casually, one leg resting against the wall, hips thrust forward enticingly. He looked up from his phone, his eyes crinkling adorably as he flashed his sweet smile at the shorter queen in front of him. Max never ceased to feel amazed at how casually sexy Gio looked at all times. There was something about him that triggered an almost instantaneous physical response in Max, and that was the last thing he needed right now whilst still taped.

"Still in drag? I didn't realise I got to play with Cracker tonight" Gio smirked as he walked through the doorway.

"No bitch, we are definitely not playing that game", Max shook his head good-humouredly. "Come in, I'm going to jump in the shower, I won't be long".

After a quick shower Max wrapped a towel around his waist as he stepped out of the shower and headed back into the hallway. He could hear music floating down the hallway from his bedroom and figured that Gio must have made himself comfortable. Listening closer he could hear Gio singing along. He definitely wasn't the best singer but there was something endearing about it that melted Max's heart, just a little bit. Entering the small room he saw Gio reclining on his bed waiting for him, leaving little to the imagination, wearing only a black jockstrap and a cocky smile. He didn't even have to say anything and Max was putty in his hands. Walking forwards and dropping the towel on to the floor, he allowed himself to be overpowered by Gio, losing himself in the moment.

Afterwards, lying on his back, breathing deeply, Max felt a moment of uneasiness wash over him. Again he found himself questioning why he had let things get to this stage. Max was feeling things right now that made him uncomfortable and on edge. What on earth was he doing with a 22 year old in his bed, thinking that this could be something more than it is? Max could feel himself sinking back into the feelings that had plagued him in the months leading up to Gio turning his back on him and waltzing out of his life. His first conversation with Katelyn replayed itself in his mind and he could hear his friend repeating, again an again; "Oh, I didn't say it was a good idea..didn't say it was a good idea...good idea". Why did he have to do this right now? He would give anything for his mind to quiet; for his thoughts to dull, the voices to stop. Max was contemplating having a drink to numb himself to the white noise inside his mind when all of a sudden he was brought back from his thoughts with a sickening bang.

"You know what, fuck this", Gio huffed rolling his eyes as he scrambled out of bed hastily grabbing his clothes from the chair sat in the corner of the cramped room.

"What did I do?!" Max asked, sitting up slowly trying not to make it obvious that the earlier state of nervousness had evolved into fully fledged blind panic as soon as Gio said those words.

Gio glared at him, eyes black with anger, his fists balling up in obvious frustration. "The fact that you don't even know says it all Max.You're so in your fucking head that you're not here. I'm trying to ask you about your day and you are completely checked out! It's like talking to a brick wall. Fucking pointless. I thought you were meant to be the smart one, but you obviously like aren't because if you were you would know that I'm not just here to fuck for gods sake...I like you". Gio paused, turning to face the door. "I like you" he whispered again, as if testing out how the words sounded. His rage had petered out and the last words sounded hollow, empty, as if Gio too was only realising the impact of these few words and how it could change everything.

Sitting on the disheveled bed Max stared blankly at a point on the wall about two inches above Gio's head. He couldn't bring himself to look at him directly, even with his back turned, not entirely sure what to say or do. He hadn't been expecting any conversation with Gio to take this turn. Gio who could have had his pick of anyone. Gio who was gorgeous and funny and the best type of stupid. He could go on with the list of qualities that he found infuriatingly adorable about the younger man indefinitely. This couldn't be happening right now. It had to be some sort of sick joke. There was no way that Gio meant what he had just said. He was just young and overwhelmed by the attention surely? Caught up in the whirlwind of the race and the comfort of sharing that with somebody who understood, who didn't get mad if he didn't come round after a gig because guess what, he was probably too tired and in need of some sleep too. It must just be the shared experience, Max thought. What could possibly be so special about him that would make Gio stand, semi naked and vulnerable, letting those words fall from his mouth? Max racked his brain and came up with... nothing.

Grabbing his sweatshirt from where it had slipped onto the floor Gio pulled it over his head, ruffling his hair as he turned, looking directly at Max.

"Say something for god's sake" Gio fumed, glaring at Max who sat immobile, empty. The anger made his face even more beautiful than Max had ever seen it, causing his features to harden into a powerful mask that took Max's breath away. Gio took an angry step forward, his expression shifting from one of pure anger to vulnerability causing him to stop, imploring Max to look at him.

"Please..." Gio whispered, tears welling up in his eyes, his lower lip trembling and his voice shaking with emotion. The mask had cracked and standing there in that moment Gio had never looked younger or more vulnerable to Max.

"I can't Gio..." Max muttered bringing his hands up to cover his eyes.

"I'm sorry... I can't do this". He glanced at Gio before swiftly tearing his eyes away and mumbling "you should probably go". His entire body was starting to shake and he grabbed the duvet tightly in his fists, fighting to control the tremor that was threatening to make his voice break. He heard Gio scramble into the rest of his clothes and grab his shoes, not stopping to put them on, before moving towards the door. When he got there his steps faltered for a moment that felt like an eternity. If Max had been looking, he would have seen Gio turn back, pausing in the hope that Max would say something, ask him not to leave, to come back to bed, to apologise. It was only when Gio realised that he wasn't going to try and stop him that Max heard the click of the door opening and being forcefully shut a moment later.

As soon as the apartment door closed he allowed himself to be overcome by the emotions flooding through his body. It felt like his entire body shattered into a million microscopic pieces and he broke into hard sobs, shaking uncontrollably, in the full knowledge that he had done this to himself. The walls were up and he didn't think it possible that he would be able to take them down, even a little. Didn't even know where to begin. He knew that this would mean losing Gio. The problem was that there was a part of him that didn't want to let down his defences to trust him, couldn't trust that he wouldn't break him again. Max knew that he couldn't get through that. It had been bad enough the first time and they had only been friends at that point. It was going to be agonising, even now in the uncertain stage of whatever it had been that they were doing. He knew he hadn't necessarily shown it, but he was attached. He wanted nothing else, yet he was the only one standing in his own way and he felt powerless to stop it. The comprehension that he would be waking up alone in a few hours, not to a soft kiss on the forehead from Gio, but to an empty expanse of bed and a feeling of dread knowing that Gio had wanted more was heartbreaking. A more spiteful thought ran through his mind at the realisation that Gio was probably hurting the way that he had hurt him when he had just vanished from his life without a trace. He didn't want to hurt him, but this was a case of self preservation. He felt tears burning silently down his face, and rubbed at them roughly, desperately trying to keep himself in check. Max rolled over, curling in on himself and closing his eyes, willing sleep to come and take him away from this moment.


	7. Chapter 7

It had only been 3 days since that eventful night and Max was not ready to be bumping into Gio. Unfortunately that was not something that he could do anything about as they were both scheduled at the same bar in Tennessee, along with the rest of the top five. Max really could have done with some more time to process everything but it wasn't going to happen and he knew he just needed to pull himself together. He didn't know why it was that he couldn't seem to easily follow his own advice and avoid relationships at all costs. To avoid any undue awkwardness Max decided to paint at his hotel arriving at the gig only a short time before his first number, with only enough time to spare for him to throw his costume changes in the corner of an empty dressing room and pull on his first outfit.

After his number Max headed back into the harshly lit dressing room immediately aware that the conversation that had flowed from inside had stopped abruptly, the inhabitants of the room turning to look and see who was entering.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something? I just need to change this hair before my next number" Max said hesitantly, taking an unconscious step backwards, looking at Asia so he didn't have to look in Gio's direction, hoping it wasn't obvious that he felt awkward in such close proximity with the cause of his turmoil. Of course he would manage to unwittingly pick the room that Gio was in. In hindsight, the mullet laying on the vanity could only have belonged to one person.

"No don't be silly, come in, join us" Asia enthused. "Aqua was just telling me about how shes had a mystery man on the go and they're having some issues.. Who'd have thought it, if you're having boy trouble there's no hope for the rest of us", Asia said turning back to look at Aquaria who was focusing intently on applying her eyeliner.

"Bitch it's stupid, lets not even waste any more time talking about it". Aquaria rolled her eyes, flicking her hand as she said this, indicating that it wasn't a big deal, before returning her attention to the other eye.

"What about you Cracker", Asia turned to face him as he seated himself at the vanity, slowly pulling the pins out of his wig, "have you got anyone hiding behind the scenes? A boyfriend? A lover?" she teased making a funny face at Max in the mirror.

"I love that you think that I have time for all of that, I'm booked goddammit!" Max laughed. Despite his feigned confidence he could feel the colour rising in his face, showing even through the layers of paint he hid behind as his alter ego. Silently cursing himself for the obvious sign of deceit that was giving him away he busied himself, scrutinising his hair in the mirror before pulling it off and laying it on the side.

"Your face suggests you may have been taking a stroll through liar town, surrounded by all the beautiful boys of Harlem just living your best life but then the Vixen comes running up to you and shouts "TOO VAGUE" in your face so now you have to admit that you are seeing somebody!" Asia cackled placing emphasis on the last two words, looking over to Aquaria. "Look at her! She is obviously lying, did you know?".

Aquaria glanced up, raising an eyebrow and looking directly at him, making an indifferent humming noise, not directly answering the question. "Spill Cracker, who's the lucky guy?", she sneered with a hard, almost malicious, edge in her voice that made Max's stomach drop. If he didn't already think that he'd completely destroyed any chance of them being together he knew it for sure now.

"You guy's have overactive imaginations! Seriously. I do not have time for any of that, as lovely as it would be that is most definitely not my current reality". Max said, his voice steadying as he cemented his story in his mind. He grabbed his second wig of the evening and positioned it on his head, perfectly aligning the hairline before securing it to his head. Looking up he saw both sets of eyes staring directly at him. Asia was looking at him in disbelief however all Max could focus on was the hard, darkness that had come across Gio's face, reflected in the glare that was being directed at him.

"Really?" Aquaria asked loudly, "I heard you were getting dicked down by some twink from Brooklyn" he said, not even glancing away from his reflection in the mirror.

"Bitch!" Asia, exclaimed, her head whipping round to gape at Max, speechless. At that moment a stage runner knocked on the door, poking his head round and indicating that Asia needed to make her way to the stage. "This conversation is not over. I need all the details!!" she laughed excitedly as she left the room. Now that there was nobody else in the room Max suddenly became aware that he could hear some of the other girls in the dressing room down the hallway.

Max got up slowly and walked towards the other side of the room, closing the door behind Asia and rounding on Gio.

"What the fuck was that?! What were you really trying to achieve with that conversation Gio? Do you even think before opening your mouth or are you just trying to make me feel uncomfortable? Because you are just as much a part of this mess and I can let everyone else know that just as easily as you can!" Max ranted letting out all of the frustrations that had been pent up for the past few weeks. After the initial outburst he exhaled, feeling himself deflate completely, leaning back against the bleak dressing room wall, utterly drained.

"I can't do this Gio", Max sighed as Gio finally turned round to look at him. Until then he had sat still, statuesque and stony faced watching Max's rage erupt in the reflection of the mirror.

"Are you done?" was the only response. Max felt like a petulant child who'd just thrown a temper tantrum and was being reprimanded by his parent. Standing there, timidly now that his anger had subsided, Max wished he could retreat back into himself and, after what seemed like an age, Gio continued.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. You don't get to be angry right now. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you weren't so fucking emotionally unavailable!". Max could see that the conversation he had been dreading was about to happen and just stood there silent and listening.

"I wasn't asking you to settle down and have kids with me for fucks sake I just wanted to know how your day was. That shouldn't be too much to ask, but seemingly it is for you. Because you are so scared to lose even the slightest amount of control over a situation that you can't even answer a simple question in case it makes you look... vulnerable or something". Gio finally stopped for breath, looking fixedly at Max, his eyes burning intensely.

Max went cold hearing those words, feeling more exposed than he ever had in the entirety of his life. Gio had hit the press on nail on the head. Knowing that this other person saw through him as if he was transparent left him feeling exactly what Gio had said. Vulnerable. He felt his body shutting down and his defence mechanism's kicking in.

"It's fucking embarrassing Max. You are fucking embarrassing. I honestly don't even know what I was thinking. This is a train wreck and I most definitely do not want to be along for that ride" Gio spat, malice clear in every word. Max couldn't move, he was frozen watching a flush rise up from Gio's chest, slowly reaching his face as the younger man became more heated. He felt numb, his mind blank; searching for a response that was not forthcoming. He wanted to tear Gio to pieces in that moment, he just didn't have it in him.

"Fuck you Aquaria", he whispered as viciously as he could, turning on his heel and grabbing for the door handle. Before Max had even set one foot out of the door he heard a dull scraping as Gio jumped out of his chair which slid across the room and grabbed at Max's arm roughly, pulling him back into the dressing room and shutting the door again.

"Max. Stop. Don't leave. Talk to me!" Gio pleaded, using his fingers to gently turn Max's face so he would look at him, caressing his face. It was simultaneously the most comforting and torturing sensation. The look in Gio's eyes soft and confusing to him, nowhere near the anger that had been present there only moments ago. He wanted to fall into Gio's arms but at the same time couldn't stand the proximity to him at this moment. He could feel Gio's breath against his face as he tried to collect his thoughts, forcing himself into the moment and trying not to give in to the overwhelming anxiety that was building up inside of him. Unsuccessful, Max began to shake compulsively, looking up into the eyes of the taller man.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, his breathing becoming erratic and he allowed Gio to guide him over to the worn sofa situated in the corner and pull him down onto his lap. He felt arms wrap around him and a sense of security instantly washed through him. Gio's hand lightly massaged his back as his breathing evened out and his head cleared.

"I didn't want this Gio.. I don't want to hurt you, I'm so sorry" Max babbled, not moving from within the embrace Gio was still holding him in.

Gio didn't reply straight away, his only response was to tighten his grip when he sensed Max calm and felt his entire body relax, his head nuzzling into Gio's bare chest.

"I know. Let's not, like, do this here, why don't we meet when we're back at the hotel and we can talk and stuff? I don't want to sound like a bitch but you need to pull yourself together because Cracker needs to be on stage in five minutes and she needs to put on a god damn show. Plus god knows who could walk through the door at any minute".

Max sighed, a small, sad smile turning up the corners of his mouth. Gio was right.

"I'll text you my room number, come by when you're done after the show? I need to just get out of here as soon as this is over" Max expressed, sitting up and looking in the mirror, groaning at the sight. "I need to fix this face" he murmured, dragging himself into Cracker mode and making his way over to the vanity. After touching up his make-up Max turned to face Gio, who had curled himself up into the corner of the sofa just watching Max as he readied himself for the stage. "Thank you" he whispered, trying to convey more than he could say in those two words. He sat himself down next to Gio, reaching across himself to take hold of his hand. All of a sudden the door burst open and Asia re-entered the room. They both jumped, Max grabbing Gio's hand and pulling it close to his face, closely scrutinizing his nails and rushing a garbled comment about how pretty they were. "I definitely love them, send me the details of where you got them?" he asked, swiftly letting go of Gio's hand as if it had been a casual and entirely normal action the entire time and pulling himself to his feet.

"I'm up?" he asked Asia who nodded, "Yeah in two minutes". Crossing the room in a few swift strides he left, heading towards the stage psyching himself up for his performance, reminding himself that he would be fine as soon as the music started. He had butterflies in his stomach, noting begrudgingly that it was unlikely to be pre-performance nerves at this point. Taking a deep breath, inhaling the musty backstage scent, Max refused to acknowledge that Gio was the reason, stalking into the bright lights of the stage.


	8. Chapter 8

Packing up after the gig Max was in a hurry to leave. His head was spinning and the nerves and anxiety that had been brewing earlier that evening were now rampaging unchecked throughout his body. He shook his head violently, trying to displace the heavy feeling weighing him down. As he started packing away his hair Asia swanned into the room with a flourish, snatching the wig off of her head dramatically, kicking her shoes off and throwing herself onto the sofa that he and Gio had frequented not too long ago. Asia sighed in contentment as her aching muscles started to relax and she finally noticed that Max was still in full Cracker garb and packing her second wig carefully away. As usual Max was planning on travelling back from the gig in his outfit for the evening. He would get changed and comfortable when he was back at the hotel. Or as comfortable as was going to be possible given the circumstances.

“Not coming out with us Cracks?” she queried with a raised brow looking somewhat disappointed.

“Not tonight, headache”, Max mumbled, frowning. He wasn’t actually lying. A tension headache was slowly building around his forehead, but that was par for the course when you duct taped your head, attacked it with bobby pins and carried around enough hair for four normal humans all night. “I’m just going to head back to the hotel and try and get a couple of hours sleep. I have to catch a flight tomorrow morning and I'm wrecked” he admitted.

“Ohh hunny, I did think you’d been quiet tonight, do you need painkillers, I have some Advil in my bag somewhere if you need?”. She sat up, turning towards her pile of drag as if to dig out the pills, looking concerned, her motherly instincts kicking in.

“No I’ve taken some thanks, just going to have to catch you guys next time”, Max said, moving over to the couch, one arm laden down with bags, and leaning over to give Asia a one armed hug.

After navigating the drunk people milling on the streets outside of the club, managing to get a cab with a driver who didn't seem crazy and then avoiding fans who somehow had tracked down their hotel, when he finally got back to the hotel Max carelessly discarded his bags by the door and threw himself onto the bed. Normally he took better care of his drag but tonight he was beyond caring, despite the fact that a voice in the back of his head was reminding him of how long it would take to fix those wigs if they got messed up. He felt empty as he stared up at the ceiling contemplating how this evening was going to transpire. He already knew that he was going to hate every minute of it. It was bad enough that he was his own worst critic, to have to sit there with somebody he cared about, whose opinion he valued, and listen to them provide a laundry list of his flaws was going to be excruciating.

Checking his phone Max saw that he had an unread message.

 **Gio** : Still want me to come by? Katelyn not with you tonight?

 **Max** : No. She's at home. She had some meetings to deal with there.

 **Max** : Room 225, let me know when you're on your way.

 **Gio** : Okay, see you later.

Heaving himself up from the bed he propelled himself towards the small bathroom to de-drag. His wig was removed first before Max took a wipe, swiftly smearing the layers of makeup across his face, shattering the illusion he worked so hard to perfect. Max spent longer than usual examining his reflection in the mirror, void of any makeup. Cracker he could look at for hours; analysing the shape of her eye, the arch of a brow or the bow of her lips in a never ending endeavour for perfection. He wouldn’t normally give Max more than a cursory glance. It wasn’t that he hated what he saw; he just knew himself well enough to know that the confidence he had with Miz Cracker didn’t necessarily carry through to Max and there was no point in overly scrutinising something that he wasn’t going to change. He didn’t need any more reasons to beat himself up over something out with his control.

Analysing his appearance now his focus was drawn to the dark circles that seemed ever present under his eyes these days. Frowning he noticed the furrows appearing on his forehead and quickly let his face fall back into a neutral position, rubbing where the lines had appeared as if it would make them vanish. Sighing he turned the shower on, turning his back on his reflection and undressing before proceeding to vigorously scrub the remainder of the makeup and adhesive from his skin.

An hour or so later Max jumped violently, startled out of sleep by a loud, frantic knocking at his door. Rubbing his bleary eyes he glanced at the clock in confusion. Hearing his name whispered in a loud hiss behind the door Max recognised the voice and realisation dawned over him slowly. Scrambling for a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt he pulled the clothes on hurriedly, making his way towards the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” he muttered sleepily as he unlatched the door to let Gio in. Gio tumbled in, a mess of arms and legs, promptly slamming the door shut behind him.

“That was close” Gio breathed, glancing nervously over his shoulder to make sure that the door was definitely closed.

“What was? I thought you were going to text me when you were coming?” Max questioned.

“I did...”. Gio held up his phone so that Max could see the screen, seeing no fewer than five messages asking him to open the door and later a slightly more aggressive 'are you alive?!?!'.

“Oh...sorry, I fell asleep. I must not have heard my phone. What was all the rush anyway?”, he asked changing the subject.

“Eureka. She’s in a room just around the corner and I could hear her loud mouth getting out of the elevator. I love her and she’s my sister and all but she’s the last person I want to catch me sneaking into your room in the middle of the night. What did you say to Asia by the way? She was saying how worried about you she was before I left..?”.

“Just that I had a headache. She was asking why I wasn’t going out with them after the show and I had to tell her something. How did you manage to get out of it?” Max asked, buying himself some more time with idle chatter.

"I did go, for a while. But then I just told them I was leaving and left" he answered, smirking cockily at Max as he rolled his eyes. "As much as I love hanging out in the doorway can we go inside?" Gio asked, stalking right past Max without even waiting for an answer. Kicking off his shoes Gio clambered onto the bed and sat himself cross legged, patting the spot in front of him and indicating for Max to sit down. Despite his childlike stance he was calm and collected, obviously in control of himself and the situation. Max on the other hand, felt anything but and wondered if it was as obvious to Gio. He sighed, sitting himself down in front of Gio but consciously not facing him directly, a desperate bid to lessen the blow of whatever was to come.

"Max. Seriously. If we are going to do this I need you to be able to look at me..." Gio said reaching out and touching his arm, pawing gently at him until he turned round. "See, it's not that bad is it?" he said reassuringly, then laughing. "Why do I feel like the adult in this situation, surely it should be the other way round" he teased.

Max could tell that Gio was trying to ease the tension with his own stupid brand of humour and so forced an awkward chuckled, despite the fact that it had caused his stomach to wrench. Gio had unwittingly jumped straight to one of Max's biggest insecurities and he knew that he didn't want to start the conversation on this topic. Maybe he would save the age difference discussion for another day.

"So...", Max anxiously asked, "where do you want to start? I'd rather you just say what you have to say and get it over with because I'm fairly certain that this is going to be uncomfortable and I'd rather it was over later rather than sooner, no.. sooner rather than later. God, why am I so nervous?!", he chastised himself under his breath.

"Not coming for my stuttering gig". Gio teased, a wry, almost strained, smile framing his face. "This doesn't have to be such a big deal Max. You're not the only one feeling uncomfortable by the way... I don't like this anymore than you do. I hate confrontation, you of all people should know how well it normally goes down for me. I just want to like, know what you're thinking or whatever. Like I said earlier, you just seem so unavailable. And I don't know how to work with that. It's just confusing because I thought everything was going so well". Gio's speech halted, causing Max to look up, inadvertently locking eyes with Gio who was fiddling with the sheets on the bed, a look of nervous agitation evident on his face.

"I meant it when I said I really like you y'know. And that's not something that I'm used to or know how to process so it's a lot. And then to just get nothing in response... It didn't feel great to be leaving every morning without properly saying goodbye y'know. Feeling like some sort of toy that you were just using out of convenience or because it was like, easy or something", he paused and Max could could hear the sincerity in his voice. It made him feel like shit, as if he didn't already.

"It wasn't even the first time I'd tried to actually talk to you. All I'd ever get back were one word answers and that was if I was lucky", Gio was becoming more heated, anger raising in his voice, his controlled tone wavering as he processed what he was saying.

"It was just bullshit Max, I could have spent those nights with countless other people at the drop of a freaking hat-"

"Well why didn't you then? Why don't you!? I'm not making you be here", Max retaliated, becoming flushed, anger seething through his body in that moment.

"Because I wanted to spend time with you, you idiot! I just wanted more than a cheap fuck, is that too much to ask? Or is that all it was...?". With that, the momentary flare of anger was gone, a sigh of resignation escaping Gio's lips. Max watched as the younger man seemed to shrink back in on himself, pulling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as if he was trying to protect himself from the feelings he was experiencing. Silence set in, only broken by the sound of somebody who was obviously drunk shouting and stumbling down the corridor outside.

Max opened his mouth several times, as if he was going to start speaking but changed his mind. Finally he just blurted out "I'm just not good at these things Gio... I can't put it into words. I can't say it. When I say it, it becomes real. And I don't think I'm ready for that. I can't do the emotional shit as you kindly pointed out. But, I don't want... this... to go away. I think you know that too, or you wouldn't be here".

"I know.. but we don't have to dive into this head first", Gio hesitated, his brow furrowing in contemplation, "or feet first, or whatever it is. I just want to be able to hang out with you sometimes just normally, not when we've been out or drinking or when everyone else is there or whatever. I mean, just now when I first got here. That was easy. It was normal, it was how things used to be. We used to be able to have a conversation without you over-analysing everyth-"

"You have to understand though Gio, that is one of the reasons I'm so hesitant" Max cut him off. "What happened to us? We were friends, and then we weren't. And to this day I have no idea why. How can I open myself up to something more than that and trust you not to do the same again?".

"I don't really have a good reason for that. I'd love to be able to pinpoint that on one thing or blame somebody else but I can't. You didn't do anything." Gio admitted in a resigned voice.

"I was just young and stupid and just at a place in my life where going out was more important to me than staying in for a quiet night or whatever.You didn't fit I guess. It wasn't the picture that I was trying to present. I was a selfish asshole. I know that. What I don't know is why I thought that was like, okay to do that to someone. All I know is I really want this Maxwell Heller. I don't need it to be anything more than it is right now, I just want to know that we like, tried. Let's just try. I just want us to be able to spend time together and be normal human beings; leave Aquaria and Cracker and all of that bullshit out of it and just try and get to know each other better again".

Max looked up at Gio, for the first time fully taking in the expression on his face, noting how the tenderness he could see softened his strong features, making him look all the more beautiful. Everything that he was saying was everything he had wanted to hear, and never thought that he would ever hear he realised. It made his heart flutter as he absorbed the words and their meaning.

"I want that too" he whispered, barely audible. "I just can't make any promises Gio, I can't just snap out of these stupid self destructive behaviours. I know that it's a problem for me but if it was as easy as just knowing it we wouldn't need to have this conversation...". Max ran his hands through his hair nervously.

"That's all I needed to hear Max. I get it. We all have things we'd change if we could. I mean, I'd start with making myself less attractive. I think it would make me more relatable..." Gio said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Max started in disbelief, had he really just said that? Looking at Gio he saw his eyes crinkle as he grinned at the look on Max's face. Max started laughing hysterically, tears rolling down his cheeks as the tension broke, a lightness permeating the room that hadn't been present previously. The more he laughed the more he felt a sense of calm wash over him and found himself staring Gio directly in the eye, laughter ceasing long enough to respond.

"I like you too you know".

Max leaned over, placing a slow and gentle kiss on his lips, savouring the feeling of Gio's warm plump lips against his own, a shiver engulfing his entire body as he gave into the feeling, thinking of nothing else. Reaching up he pulled the younger man's face closer and Max used his other hand to massage Gio's thigh, inching ever closer to his crotch. He could already feel that Gio was getting hard, his skin tight jeans straining against his hardening cock. Gio abruptly pulled back, grasping at Max's hand and pushing it back towards his leg.

"Max, no.. we shouldn't. Not tonight... I need to know that this is about more than sex. I mean, we both know that fucking is the one thing we do well together, lets see how the rest of this pans out and.. take it from there. I'm not saying never again obviously, I mean..." Gio gave a shudder as Max saw the unpleasant thought run through his head, "just not tonight".

After a moment of silence Gio spoke again. "We could cuddle?" he suggested, looking earnestly down at Max. Max considered the situation before leaning in and kissing Gio on the forehead. "Okay" he smiled, "let me just change" Max responded, jumping off the bed and searching his suitcase for a clean pair of underwear.

"I don't need you in a full chastity belt.. although that might be hot" Gio laughed.

"Unfortunately I left that at home... but I'm not trying to make things harder than they already are" Max retorted, brandishing the underwear towards Gio, before dashing into the bathroom to change.

Upon re-entering the bedroom he saw that Gio had already slipped off his clothing and was in the process of making himself comfortable. Max paused in the doorway, just watching, as Gio fussed with the pillows, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched, before burrowing under the covers, his head resurfacing a moment later as he settled in position. He really was beautiful. Shutting off the overhead light he made his way to the bed, slipping between the sheets and running his hands down Gio's exposed back, tracing patterns in his freckles, eventually sliding his hands around Gio's slender waist and pulling him closer. Breathing in deeply he realised how comforting he found the heady scent of the gorgeous man beside him.

"I really am sorry, you know." Max said hesitantly.

"I know. I am too..." Gio wriggled round planting a tender kiss on Max's mouth, muttering incoherently, before nuzzling his way back into Max's arms.

"G'night Gio", Max whispered, allowing exhaustion to overcome him.


	9. Chapter 9

Drifting awake gently Max became conscious of a soft hand tracing lines on his shoulder. Rolling over, his head still somewhat muddled in a hazy cloud of sleep, he found himself face to face with a glorious sight which both startled him and made him insanely happy.

"I always forget you have a tattoo", Gio whispered, smiling up at him. "Morning..". He was lying on his side, casually resting his head on his hand looking perfect, in a beautifully androgynous way.

Max smiled shyly, returning the greeting.

"Is it just me or is this is a bit weird?" he quietly asked, not certain as to what the response would be and feeling uneasy asking the question in the first place. 'Maybe a bit too heavy for first thing in the morning Maxwell', he berated himself silently. This was what happened when he tried to have conversations with no caffeine in his system; chaotic, reckless statements that he would come to regret.

'"Weird good or weird bad?" Gio questioned watching Max's face intently for his response. The conflicting feelings Max was experiencing intensified as he enjoyed having the younger man's rapt attention but felt exposed under his intense gaze, wishing he would look away for even a second.

"Weird good I think? I mean, I like it. We've just never really done this, I don't really do this ever", Max admitted self consciously.

"I'd like to do this more often" Gio declared confidently, waggling his eyebrows- or where his eyebrows would have been- suggestively.

"That would have been much more effective if you'd drawn your brows on first" Max chuckled, "you look like a hairless cat".

"But a cute hairless cat", Gio purred batting his long eyelashes together and looking at Max for confirmation. Max shook his head in amusement, laughing quietly.

"That goes without saying". A wide grin spread across Gio's face, lighting up his features. Looking up at him Max couldn't imagine a better way to wake up.

"I would love to stay here all day, and I know that it's not great timing given everything but I do need to get ready to head to the airport. I've got a gig this evening that I need to get back for".

"I know. I know what I said last night and all but this is different. Don't beat yourself up over it, it's work, I get it." Gio said reassuringly, looking directly into Max's eyes as if he was willing him to understand that he really meant it.

Max smiled, kissing Gio softly on the lips, it was all he trusted himself to do at that point in time, before rolling away and groaning.

"When's your flight?".

"At 11:30, I really don't want to get up though. What are your plans for today?" Max asked.

"I've got a day off. I think Kameron wants us to do food this evening, show us round her local bars and all of that. Then I'm getting a flight tomorrow morning to Denver... I think? I can't even remember at this point. It's all a huge blur". Gio ruffled his hair lazily, stretching his arms above his head and Max couldn't help but stare. He wanted more than anything to reach over and pull Gio's body to his; kiss him roughly and run his fingers through his hair, it was taking every ounce of self constraint he possessed not to do just that.

Gio became aware that Max was staring and just laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully before jumping out of bed, far too energetically for this early in the morning, and pulling on his clothes.

"Ohh, not fair, I was enjoying the view" Max groaned facetiously.

Gio looked over his shoulder winking, "I know...". Max hauled himself into a sitting position and looked at the mess in the room, irritated at himself for not having packed away his drag the previous night. He hated packing.

"Do you have time for breakfast?" Gio asked, pulling on his boots, "we could go to the restaurant downstairs. It's not like, completely crazy that we'd eat breakfast together is it?".

"Ughh, I dunno. I'd rather not have the other girls questioning it, they would think that it was weird" Max replied, pulling the duvet up to his neck, feeling suddenly self conscious about his semi-naked form in front of Giovanni. In contrast to the gorgeous man standing, without a hint of insecurity, at the foot of the bed, Max suddenly felt less than. He needed a shower and coffee and was considering this when Gio brought him back out of his thoughts with a new proposition.

"Okay. How about we compromise and grab a coffee from the Starbucks down the street? Well, you can get coffee, I'll get something else. They aren't going to be up yet anyway, they all went out last night remember. But just in case they are we should be fine, they probably wouldn't venture outside of the hotel".

Max nodded. "That... I think I can manage. Deal".

"Get up then, I'm going to dash back to my room and change. I don't want people thinking I-", Gio paused dramatically "-repeat outfits" he whispered with a shudder.

"I didn't realise you owned anything other than Adidas sweatpants and tank tops", Max laughed and threw a pillow at Gio who dashed out of the way shrieking.

"Be downstairs in fifteen minutes!" Max heard as the door shut, with the sound of laughter disappearing down the corridor along with Gio. He was so ridiculous, and Max loved it.

A wide smile spread across Max's face as he sat in bed replaying the previous night and acknowledging the butterflies in his stomach that were now rampaging. None of the endings to last night that he had played out in his mind before the occasion had ended with them getting coffee the next morning. This was what he wanted he now realised, but part of him was convinced that he would do something to mess this up. "Stop it", he scolded himself. Throwing the duvet down the untidy bed, he distracted himself with getting dressed and trying to sort out some of his packing so he didn't need to do it when he got back. In the end he settled for just throwing things in his bag, knowing that he could sort it all out when he got home. He was going to have to wear something new tonight anyway.

They met in the lobby about twenty minutes later, Gio sat there waiting impatiently tapping his foot against the seat a, now fully drawn on, brow arched as if to ask what had taken him so long. They walked down the street chatting in an easy and friendly manner. As they walked Max felt Gio's hand brush against his, not quite as casual as he was sure Gio intended it to be. He wanted to grab his hand and lace their fingers together but hesitated, worrying that somebody might see. His thoughts were interrupted by a high pitched shrieking and an excitable tug on his sleeve.

"Look at the kids, oh my god they are so cute! I wan't one. Ohhh I want to go and play with them. Max look how cute they are!" Gio was practically jumping up and down on the sidewalk, eyes wide with excitement. Following his gaze Max saw somebody on the other side of the road walking their dogs, oblivious to the crazy person stood next to him.

Gently grabbing Gio's arm Max pulled him on down the street.

"I'll let you play with puppies another time, unfortunately we don't have all day remember" Max chided jokingly, internally smiling at the innocence of Gio's excitement. Gio pouted but acquiesced, looking longingly behind him but following Max nonetheless.

Arriving at the coffee shop Max placed his order before asking Gio what he wanted. When the cashier rung up their order Gio started to reach for his wallet. "I'll get it", Max said handing over his card to the young girl behind the counter.

"I didn't realise that you were going to be my sugar daddy", Gio smirked, stepping right up behind Max and leaning his head on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. Max tensed slightly at the public display of affection, unconsciously turning to face Gio so he could subtly put some distance between them without alarming him.  
  
Max smiled, "Bitch it's a coffee. Don't go getting any ideas. Go find us a seat, I'll get the drinks and come find you".

After the barista handed him their drinks he navigated the store in search of Gio who he found downstairs, tucked into a quiet corner of the store and sat himself down opposite him, handing him his drink, glad for the table between them which allowed some distance, giving Max the opportunity to focus on the conversation and not just the physicality of the alluring creature sat in front of him. As much as he wanted to sit right next to Gio he was painfully aware that they were in a public place and he felt on edge.

"So I was thinking..-" Gio started, shuffling in his seat as he intertwined his legs with Max's under the table and smiled at him coquettishly.

"Be careful, that's dangerous" Max joked taking a sip of his coffee and settling himself back into the chair waiting to hear Gio's grand plan.

"Shut up", Gio laughed. "I'm in California for a week or so at the beginning of next month. And I've already checked your schedule and you're going to be there for a gig we're both doing and then you don't have anything lined up for a little while... I was thinking we could maybe, like, go away for a few days. Maybe? If you wanted?". He looked nervous and Max couldn't help but find it endearing. "I mean we don't have to. I just thought it would be nice, we could just like, shut down the social media for a few days and have some time to ourselves without having to worry about other people or whatever". Gio was rambling and Max could see the nerves that he was trying to stifle while waiting for his response.

"When did you even have time to figure that out?!" he exclaimed, "I was gone for like five minutes!". Gio sat in the corner looking sheepish and not saying anything, taking a large swig of his drink and almost choking, spluttering at the heat of the liquid. Max gave out a small laugh and looked at Gio for a moment before continuing, allowing Gio to sweat just long enough to keep things interesting, his face giving nothing away. "That sounds great Gio. As long as you plan it because I will drive myself crazy trying to sort all of that shit out at such short notice".

Gio let out a sigh of relief at his answer and his face lit up as he clapped his hands together excitedly before grabbing his phone and frantically typing away. "Well that goes without saying, I wouldn't let you plan this. Plus I may already know where we're going...", Gio admitted bashfully with a coy smile.

"Seriously bitch. Gone for five minutes... Five minutes!". Max punctuated each word with a clap to emphasise his utter disbelief. He had to hand it to Gio, when he wanted something, he was laser focused and knew exactly how to get it.

Gio smiled from ear to ear. "Yes! I'm so excited, it's going to be so perfect! You will absolutely love this place, I promise. I mean I have amazing taste so of course you will love it", Gio babbled. "We're both home between now and then" Gio continued. "We could catch up and I can let you know what the plan is? Oh god I sound desperate. I'm being too much, am I being too much?" he stuttered. Laughing, Max shook his head and grinned. "No. You're being adorable, but I may have to get you to start organising my schedule since you know it better than I do". This elicited another trademark grin from Gio and Max smiled knowing that he had been the cause of his happiness in that moment.

The next twenty minutes were spent chatting, sharing stories and making the most of the fact that they were able to just spend some time together. Checking the time, Max drained his coffee, setting his now empty cup down on the rickety table. "I need to go back and finish packing. Are you coming back or are you going to stay?".

"I'll come back with you, I want to be able to properly say goodbye this time" he replied significantly, reaching under the table and brushing his hand across Max's thigh giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Oh god, you are going to get me in trouble" Max groaned, a wistful grin crossing his face. "You're going to have to stop that or I cannot be held responsible for my actions".

Gio flashed him a cheesy grin, "Maybe I don't want you to be". Getting up from the table he grabbed his empty cup, discarding it in the trash and heading towards the exit. Looking back over his shoulder he called back "come on then", before strutting up the staircase confidently.

Max watched in amusement from his seat as the younger man disappeared out of view, wondering what he was getting himself in for, but knowing that whatever was to come, it was going to be interesting. Grabbing his phone and room key from the table he got up and followed his current obsession back to the hotel.


	10. Chapter 10

Max sat on the crowded plane reflecting on their last few moments before he had to leave. Gio had sprawled himself across the bed when they got back to the hotel as if it was an entirely normal thing for him to do, watching Max as he finished packing and getting ready. They had chatted about the other girls and the gigs they had recently been to; exchanging stories of crazy meet and greets, difficult promoters and backstage antics like it was something they did every day. It felt so easy. Max had somewhat reluctantly confessed that Katelyn knew about what had happened between them in the UK and Gio had been completely unphased. Max had expected more of a reaction from Gio. He had been a little taken aback and was more than a little impressed at the maturity that he had seen in the younger man in the last 24 hours. Gio hadn't minded at all that Katelyn knew, explaining that the people closest to them would have to find out sooner or later if everything went well anyway. Sitting alone now Max's heart swelled at the thought that Gio was so keen for it to turn out well. When it had actually came time for him to leave Gio had grabbed one of Max's bags, waiting for him anxiously by the door. Max had taken the bag from him, dropping it by his feet and leaning up towards the taller man to kiss him, a feeling of nervous anticipation building in the knowledge that he wasn't going to be able to see Gio for a while.

"I don't want you to leave" Gio had pouted, wrapping his arms around Max's waist, pulling him closer and holding him tightly as if he was never going to let go. Max allowed himself to melt into the embrace. When he finally begrudgingly pulled himself away, he had squeezed Gio's hand tightly, promising that he would call him when he was getting ready for the gig that evening.

Thinking back on it, he wished more than anything that he could have stayed. He would much rather be there than sitting on a plane with miserable flight attendants- who were anything but attendant- dry recycled air and at least three small children competing to see who could make the most noise. The flight had been delayed by a couple of hours already and even now that they were all seated there seemed to be no urgency to take off. Max sighed, well and truly over it, lamenting a career where you spent a majority of the time on solid ground. Pulling the well-worn pink blanket that he travelled with around him tightly and tried to shut out the noise, wishing for this flight to be over.

Later that evening, music bouncing in the background, Max was hanging out with Monet backstage between sets and getting ready for his next performance. They were at a venue that they regularly performed at together before the show and so this felt comfortable and familiar. They had quickly fallen into their old pattern of easy banter and overall the night was going well. As much as he loved to see sold out venues that would fit 2,000 people, there was always going to be a special place in his heart for the local gigs; the venues and the fans that had supported their careers when they didn't even exist. Monet was currently bragging about a fifty dollar tip she'd received earlier that night whilst Max was in the process of fixing his pads, readjusting them under the three layers of pantyhose.

"Oh by the way, a little bird told me you have a top secret man on the go", teased Monet as she pulled on her white patent heeled boots. "Oh damn it, I forgot that these broke last night.. these fans need to stop buying me shots. Or I need to stop telling them to buy me shots. Either way, I almost didn't make it here tonight and god knows where half the drag I went to the venue with is. You should have seen me Cracks, I was a hot mess!". Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to Max who was pulling on his second costume change of the evening behind a flimsy, battered screen. "Don't think you can hide back there and ignore my question bitch!".

Max laughed, rolling his eyes before stepping out in his blue leotard, signalling to his friend that he needed help with the closings in the back before heading towards his pile of drag to grab the wig for his next number. "By a little bird I can only assume you mean Asia. And I can assure you that there is no truth in that. She just caught the wrong end of the stick. Aqua was stirring the pot, probably trying to take the heat off of her. I think she'd been getting the third degree before I arrived. How's everything going with you anyway?". Glancing up as he re-glued his thumb nails back on Max caught the look of sheer disbelief on Monet's face.

"As much as I'd love to believe you my dear little Cracker, I am calling bullshit! Now if it wasn't for the fact that you have been nowhere to be seen after your gigs here for the last few weeks, rushing home instead of spending time with your sisters..." Monet gave him a pointed look at this, "or the fact that you are doing everything you can to try and hide the fact that you have been texting non stop all evening...I might believe you". Max's hand was hovering over his phone, which was face down on the work surface, just about to pick it up having heard the telltale buzz which indicated that Gio had responded to his message. Instinctively he had dropped his hand to his side, only succeeding in making himself look more guilty. The call they had intended hadn't gone ahead as planned because of the delays at the airport, which meant he had only had enough time to send a quick message when he got home before refreshing his drag bag and turning and walking back out of the door. Monet bounded out of her seat energetically, grasping for the phone but wasn't quick enough. Max seized it off of the surface a split second before Monet's reached it, the queens nails grazing the back of his hand as he snatched it back.

"Hey, watch the talons!" Max screeched, laughing, pushing his chair backwards taking himself and his phone out of reach, holding Monet back with his legs. Swiftly unlocking his phone, he scrolled through the contacts, changing Gio's name to something less conspicuous, hitting save and locking the phone. At least now the name wouldn't be a dead giveaway.

"Call bullshit all you want, it doesn't make it any less true. But I must say I love when you get an idea in your head", Max replied after a moment with a teasing smirk on his face. "Nobody can tell you you're wrong when you get like this, it's hilarious. You are like a dog with a bone. So I'm just going to reply to my message, from my mother by the way, and not talk about this anymore. Because I know that that will infuriate you more than anything else and I could definitely use some more entertainment this evening!".

"You are such a liar!" Monet cackled vociferously, and Max noted that at that volume the whole venue would probably be able to hear her. "I will get to the bottom of this! Believe me!".

Max mimed zipping his mouth shut before bursting out in peels of infectious laughter at the look on his friends face. Glancing down he unlocked his phone scanning the message and smiled, which did nothing to dispel the taunts his friend was now throwing his way.

Max spent the rest of the night true to his word, refusing to talk about the rumours, much to the frustration of Monet who was becoming more and more wound up with every failed attempt to wheedle out any more information. When, at the end of the evening, Max was readying himself to leave, Monet could be heard making further suggestive comments as to what Max's intentions were with the evening. Smiling to himself, he turned to face her.

"I can assure you, I'm going home and to my own bed, alone. And I am going to revel in the experience" he added, "Hotels are nice and all but nothing beats your own bed in your crummy apartment, filled with enough drag to successfully drown yourself in".

"Still not buying it" came the disgruntled response. "I thought we were sisters" Monet whined drawing out the last word and looking at Max with feigned hurt and upset across their face.

"Don't even try it, and anyway, I don't hear you telling me about the ins and outs of your love life!" Max retorted with a dismissive air.

"Well hell bitch sit down, I'd be happy to share. Stories, not actually share. I'm an open book but I'm not open to catching anything from you! Now let me see, there was the cute redhead in LA when we were there for DragCon, the twink with the tightest ass ever in Colorado and this one guy in the UK had the biggest dick I've seen in my life! My god it was beautiful, and there was-", Monet listed, counting conquests on her fingers.

"Yeah, I'll take a rain check on the bed time stories tonight.. another time?" Max laughed, grabbing his belongings and hugging his friend before dashing out of the door and heading to get a cab.

When he finally arrived home Max was more than ready to de-drag and get some sleep. After showering and sorting out his suitcase he settled himself into his bed, mentally reminding himself to thank Katelyn for having changed the sheets so he didn't have to do it now at close to 3am. Checking his phone he saw two unread messages.

Gio: I hope your gig went well. It's not the same without you, wish you were here.

Alongside the message was a snap of Gio in bed, pouting, an empty stretch of bed visible in the shot next to him, sheets dishevelled and hair a mess, looking like a model. Max pushed aside the comparisons he instantly started making between himself lying in bed and Max's candid shot. Instead Max focused on the image in front of him and found his hand reaching down, grazing himself through his underwear as he focused on how perfectly shameless Gio looked, wearing nothing but a jock strap, arm stretched over the empty space as if inviting him to come and share the space. Max hadn't realised how horny he was although, in hindsight, the events of the previous night had done nothing to satiate the urges that had been building. He felt himself becoming hard, tugging his underwear down he took hold of himself firmly giving in to temptation; stroking slowly, closing his eyes and allowing the memories to engulf him. Gio's breath on the back of his neck. His lips making their way down his body. His hands caressing his face. The sensation of his fingers running down his back. Max felt himself edging closer and closer to ejaculation and slowed, trying to hold off coming, prolonging the pleasure for as long as possible. He could feel it boiling up inside of him and, despite his best efforts, after a few more frantic pumps he tightened his grip to control the copious stream now shooting from his sensitive tip. Stroking himself slowly, he allowed the feeling to subside, before reaching for a towel to clean himself up.

Picking up his phone from where it had fallen beside him in his moment of bliss he re-read the text from Gio. He would have given anything to have him in bed next to him, even just to know that he was there, within arms reach. He groaned at how pitiful he felt in that instant, powerless to the allure he felt pulling him towards the beautiful mindfuck that was Giovanni Palandrani. Typing out a quick message he turned out the lamp on his nightstand rolled on to his side, trying not to focus on the empty space next to him.

Max: Soon Gio. Soon x.


	11. Chapter 11

Max was sitting in his hotel room, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor a sense of nervous anticipation building in his stomach. His mind was working at a million miles an hour while he waited for Gio to respond to his message. He was having doubts as to whether he was doing the right thing by pursuing his feelings for Gio. He wasn't even entirely sure why he felt this way. Everything had gotten so much better since they had last seen each other. They were talking every day and he still felt his heart skip when he saw that it was Gio's name lighting up his phone screen. Everything on paper seemed perfect and so naturally Max's mind was wandering to the potential issues that they would face moving forwards if he allowed this to continue.

They'd hardly had a chance to interact last night, they had both been so rushed off their feet between sets, with costume changes and meet and greets to prepare for. It had driven Max crazy knowing that he was so close by and that they couldn't just be themselves, but with everyone around he'd managed to subsist with a brief yet frenzied make out session in a bathroom backstage at the start of the evening.

Gio caused in him an insatiable hunger that only his immediate presence could cure. It was overwhelming. Simultaneously he looked to Gio to provide a sense of calm that was foreign to him. He didn't understand why this was causing him such turmoil. He'd never reacted like this over anybody before. And he'd been in relationships with people he'd loved before and never felt this way. He stopped his thoughts in their tracks when he realised what had just crossed his mind. Thankfully his phone buzzed, saving him from any chance he had to pursue this terrifying inner dialogue.

 **Gio:**  Come downstairs, I'll be there in a minute ;)

Having made his way downstairs Max looked around impatiently as a large black car with tinted windows drew up outside of the hotel. He'd watched as several cars had pulled up, numerous people had come and gone yet still no sign of Giovanni. He pulled out his phone, checking in case he'd missed anything, wondering where on earth Gio was and how much longer he was going to leave him standing there. He'd already been stood there for ten minutes and he was starting to get a little agitated.

Max watched as a driver exited the car in front of him, walking around the vehicle to open the door for the occupant. Max eyed him appreciatively, admiring the way his pants fitted across his ass.

"Quit staring and get in bitch!", came a familiar voice from inside the car. Shielding his eyes from the intense sunlight and peering in the car he saw Gio lounging in the back seat, dark sunglasses hiding the eye-roll that Max didn't have to see to know had been present.

"You got a driver?!".

"Yeah, he's cute isn't he? Now get in the car or we're going to be late". Max went to grab his bags but they were already being loaded into the sizeable vehicle.

"I don't know why I'm surprised that you would be so extra", Max said sliding into the car and kissing Gio's cheek. "So are you going to tell me where we are going or am I going to have to wait?".

"Wait I think", Gio smiled mischievously. "You're going to love it though, it's going to be amazing. Trust me". The door closed behind Max and they were soon on their way, Gio snuggled up against him, his head resting on Max's shoulder comfortably.

"We're going to be driving for a couple of hours", Gio murmured. "Do you mind if I sleep for a little while? I barely slept last night and this queen needs some rest".

"Of course not, I might join you", Max yawned, suddenly realising that the late nights were catching up on him too. Shuffling in his seat until they were both comfortable, Max settled in for the journey.

 

"Welcome back sleeping beauty".

Max blinked, rubbing at his bleary eyes, suddenly becoming aware that they were slowing down. Looking around he checked out their surroundings, taken aback at the stunning vista surrounding them. "Wait here, I'll be back in a second" Gio muttered as he pulled out his phone and dialled before letting himself out of the car, quickly shutting the door. Max watched curiously as Gio talked with an older man in black slacks and a casual shirt who had just walked out of the impressive gates. They chatted for several minutes before Gio was handed a set of keys, hugging and air kissing the older man before turning back to the car. Glancing around he took in the brilliant green hillsides, the ocean visible in the distance. It truly was breathtaking.

"Who was that?", Max asked quizzically as Gio slithered back into his seat and the gates opened slowly, showing an even more impressive driveway, the property at the bottom not yet visible.

"An old family friend", Gio answered nonchalantly. "He's got the most amazing vacation home and the timing worked out perfectly. He was due to be leaving today so we are lucky enough to have the place completely to ourselves for the next few days. It's honestly the most beautiful house I've ever seen" Gio continued. "It looks like it belongs in the background of a shoot for Italian Vogue. It is perfection, you are going to die!".

"So that was the plan", Max joked. "You just wanted to lure me out to the middle of nowhere to kill me". Gio smirked.

"I wouldn't do that to you... I mean, who would take cute pictures of me for instagram?!". This caused Max to laugh, which in turn made Gio break into an adorable dorky grin.

"I can think of worse ways to go" Max joked, reaching across and taking hold of Gio's thigh, gently squeezing, hoping that Gio understood, without him having to say the words, how grateful he was that Gio would go out of the way to do this for him.

Tall marble pillars flanked the doorway and upon entering Max's jaw dropped. If it had been stunning from the outside it paled in comparison to the interior. From the marble floors to the dark original wood panelling it was the very image of sophisticated beauty, the modern touches blending seamlessly with the traditional features.

"You weren't joking, this place is amazing... I... I can't believe we get to stay here. This isn't some sort of joke, is it?".

"Not a joke, I told you you'd love it", Gio enthused wrapping his arms around Max who stood speechless in the centre of the foyer, gazing upwards at the striking chandelier which was bouncing the light of the mid afternoon sun in all directions. "But you haven't seen the best part yet, the views are amazing. And wait until you see the bedrooms", he whispered seductively, blowing gently in Max's ear.

"Bedrooms plural?" Max shuddered.

"Of course, we've got them all at our disposal, it would be a crime not to test them out", Gio chuckled, releasing Max from his hold and slapping him on the ass as he headed towards the magnificent staircase.

"Are you coming?".

"Not yet but I'm sure it won't be long" Max grinned as he followed Gio up the stairs, their bags - and all of his earlier concerns- forgotten.

 

  
"That was amazing, I could get used to this". Max stretched luxuriously on the ornate four poster bed, relishing in the sensation of the cool satin sheets against his skin.

"Ditto. It'll be weird to have to go back to real life and have to act like... like there's nothing going on I guess" Gio shrugged, reaching for Max who sighed dejectedly.

"Do we have to talk about that now? Can't we just enjoy this weekend and deal with everything else when we get to it?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Of course, sorry- I didn't mean to like, annoy you or anything" Gio stuttered, a look of hurt and confusion playing out across his face.

"I'm not annoyed, just, trying not to overthink things right now".

"Right okay, yes. How about I make us some food?" Gio changed the subject dragging his lithe body out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

"You can cook?" Max called after him.

"No, but I'm damn good at ordering pizza" came the muffled reply before he sauntered back into the bedroom pulling on a black robe.

"Of course you are, where even are we by the way? Is there even somewhere we can order pizza from nearby?".

"Oh, good point, I didn't think about that".

Max laughed under his breath, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he stood up, looking around for some clothes before realising that everything was still downstairs. Pulling on his boxers he dropped the sheet on the floor and took the pink silk robe that Gio proffered him. Max took a moment while he was securing the robe to think about their conversation. He wanted to explain to Gio what he had meant, but didn't know if he would be able to do it and convey exactly what he had meant by it. His mind was racing. He knew that he might land himself in hot water by saying something; but weighing this against the problems it had caused when he didn't say things he knew he had to do something, say something, even if it was going to ruin the moment. He didn't want to ruin everything by closing himself off completely, even though that definitely would have been the easier option.

"I'm sorry". Gio stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at Max who fidgeted from one foot to the other.

"What for?".

"For just now. For not saying the right thing. I always manage to put my foot in it. I didn't mean it to come out that way and I don't want you to apologise to me. You shouldn't feel like you need to do that. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm just being stupid" Max said apologetically, looking at the floor.

"Thank you", Gio responded kindly, but Max could hear an edge in his voice that hadn't been there before. "Stop beating yourself up. It's fine. Let's just enjoy this weekend yes?".

"Of course I want us to enjoy the weekend, it's just-".

"Seriously Max, forget it. You are going to annoy me if you keep bringing it up. Now... lets go find some food?". Gio smiled and held out his hand, the conversation clearly over, Max following him downstairs to explore the kitchen.

 

  
Whilst they had been unsuccessful with their quest for food in the house, they had managed to find the number for a local restaurant that delivered and were currently lounging on the large sectional in the informal living room after an amazing meal. Despite the fact that it was less formal than the other rooms in the house it was still stunning and so much more than Max could ever hope to achieve with his own home. He could fit his entire Harlem apartment in the bathroom in this place. If he had his own way he would never leave. This, right now, was perfect. Beautiful surroundings and a beautiful man laying with his head on his lap in comfortable silence.

"Is it bad that I don't actually want to do anything? I feel like we should be making the most of this but at the same time I would be happy to just lie here with you all evening doing nothing. I feel like I'm being boring".

"Oh shut up. That sounds like perfection, when do we ever get the chance to just relax?", Gio responded.

"Relax? What's that?". Max asked, looking at Gio who smirked, his face lighting up unexpectedly.

"Oh wait, I know what we can do! I'll be right back". Max sat upright as Gio bounded up the stairs and he heard him rummaging around in the bedroom. A few minutes later he was back, brandishing a small tub and a bottle of wine, plopping himself down in front of the sofa and Max. "Face masks", he smiled handing Max the tub. "And wine obviously. Do me and i'll do you... not like that you loser" he rolled his eyes when Max's eyebrow raised at his choice phrase.

"Sit still then", Max said as he unscrewed the lid and looked at Gio's face, taking in the minute details that made his heart race. "And close your eyes". Waiting until he knew that Gio wasn't looking he placed a slow kiss on his supple lips, experiencing a gentleness that all previous kisses Max had experienced had lacked, making Max tingle when Gio melted into the moment. Pulling back quickly he swiped the cold mask across Gio's cheek. Squealing, Gio fell backwards, kicking his legs up at Max playfully, shouting at him to stop.

"You were the one that wanted to do face masks, I was just happy to oblige", Max smirked, watching as Gio rolled around on the floor, over dramatic as ever.

"You're so stupid, give it here" Gio snorted pushing himself off the floor. "You pour the wine and I'll do what I do best and make us pretty hmm?". Max smiled.

"We'll you're not going to get anywhere with no corkscrew or glasses... so, yes, you can stick with making us pretty".


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm an idiot and deleted the entire fic because i was having a bad day and instantly regretted it. 
> 
> I will have to go back and fix the formatting and minor errors in the previous chapters so please bear with me. 
> 
> (Sorry for being an impulsive asshole x)

The sun had long set over the glorious scenery and Max stood gazing out of the kitchen window marvelling in the days of quiet seclusion that they had spent, making the most of the break and each other. Pouring himself another glass of wine, he made his way back through to the main living area where Gio was reclining on the sofa, an image of blissful contentment. Noticing his lovers return Gio picked up his phone and aimed it at him.

"What are you doing?" Max asked.

"Just documenting this magical love story" Gio said with a sarcastic smile, the shutter sound snapping away as Max shrunk back into the couch, covering his face with a cushion.

"Hey, pillow down! I want to see your face".

"Put the camera away then! And watch the wine!", Max squealed as Gio pounced on top of him, grabbing the cushion and kissing his forehead. Gio grabbed his glass from his hand, setting it down on the hard wood floor.

"It's too late anyway, I posted something an hour ago...".

"You what!? You were the one that said no social media! I'm not ready for everyone to know yet Gio". Max felt his stomach drop and his jaw tightened.

"What's the matter, embarrassed of me?", Gio joked. "Don't worry, it's not got anything identifiable in it or whatever".

"Show me" Max demanded, holding out his hand expectantly.

Gio handed over his phone and Max scrolled through to his story watching as promo's for upcoming shows passed over the screen. Nestled in between the posters was a quick picture, dimly lit and in sharp contrast with the rest of the story. It had been taken earlier in the day. Max thought back to that moment they had shared, he'd been completely unaware that Gio had even had his phone at that point. They had been sat on the sofa, drinking wine and chatting, legs intertwined, half dozing between conversations. The image showed just their entangled legs and the stunning view out of the doors leading out on to the patio area, the sun setting in the distance. Max had been ready to get mad, but he softened when he saw this picture. It perfectly summed up the moments that he had enjoyed the most from this last few days and he found himself smiling. When he looked up Gio grabbed his phone back jauntily.

"See I told you", he smirked.

"It's a good thing you're so goddamn cute Giovanni" Max replied with a wry grin. "What's the response been? You can't tell me that that the comments haven't been going insane".

"Just what you'd expect. Who is that? Does anyone know who's with him? Does he have a boyfriend" Gio put on a fake whiny voice, laughing. "Obviously I haven't responded to any of it. And I wouldn't have without talking to you for future reference", he cocked an eyebrow making Max squirm at his acknowledgement of his earlier - almost - tantrum.

"Okay I know I was being a brat you don't need to tell me. Sorry, I just panicked".

"I know, but I need you to get back out of that head unless you're going to let me in there too...". Gio reached over to the coffee table, grabbing his near empty wine glass and draining it. "Actually, no - let's do this. Tell me something people don't know about you. What do you like? What makes you tick Maxwell Heller?".

"Ummm... pressure much?! Way to put me on the spot!

"That's what you get for being a brat, that's my job" Gio winked lasciviously. "How about you tell me what you want me to do to you and then we go to bed and put it into practice".

"Well that took a turn, but this is a conversation that I can get behind. Let me think", Max tapped his finger against his chin in faux contemplation.

"Seriously though, is there something that you enjoy that we haven't like, tried? I want to know these things. Tell me how to be even more amazing than I already am". Gio joked, shuffling round, looking at him intently with those dark eyes which Max found so alluring.

"Well there is one thing, I feel a bit weird saying it though" he admitted.

"Just tell me, I won't judge".

"I kind of like to be dominated. It's kind of something that I wouldn't mind playing around with a bit. Nothing too crazy, I just like it a bit rough sometimes, to have somebody else take charge". Max flushed as the words left his mouth, looking up at Gio through his eyelashes, not wanting to make direct eye contact.

"Oh so you want to be a submissive bottom hmm?" Gio teased.

"Hey no judgement!"

"I'm not judging, I'm just thinking about how that's going to pan out when we get to bed".

"Last one to the bedroom bottoms?" Max suggested with a wink, hoping that the humour would draw some of the focus away from his admission.

"Oh I do not think so", Gio laughed before bounding off of the sofa and starting towards the door.

"No! That's cheating bitch!" Max shouted, leaping to his feet and chasing after him. In his haste Gio overshot the distance, sliding across the polished floor, allowing Max to slip past him and dart up the stairs. Racing towards the bedroom Max discarded his clothing along the way, hearing Gio not far behind him, laughing as Gio grabbed at his waist, sending him careering forwards. Max fell onto the bed heavily, legs hanging over the side feeling Gio clamber on top of him, restricting his movements, embracing the feeling of powerlessness that was engulfing his small frame. He felt a strong grip on his arm as Gio hauled him round until he was laying on his back then pulled his shirt off, tossing it recklessly behind them before struggling with the buckle of his own belt in a desperate bid to catch up with Max, whose clothes were scattered throughout the house.

"You really enjoy this?" Gio smirked an edge of humour in his voice as he watched Max struggle underneath him.

"Don't laugh... I can't help that I think it's hot".

"I'm not laughing.. I just wouldn't have expected it. Let's face it, you're a control freak, who'd have thought you liked it a little rough". Gio whispered the last word in his ear seductively.

Max laughed at this, "just shut up and fuck me" he pleaded jokingly, grabbing at Gio's hips and pulling him close, the friction between their bodies increasing.

"Get up on the bed properly then", Gio ordered with as much force as he could muster without giggling. Scrambling up the bed Max laid himself out, at the mercy of the gorgeous man towering over him. With his arms held down above his head Max relinquished control, relishing the feeling of Gio's tongue working its way down his body, the heat left in its wake intense to the point of distraction. He winced slightly as Gio traversed his body, leaving short sharp bites blossoming a deep crimson, possessively marking his territory. The sudden lack of sensation pulled him back into the moment, looking around desperately to re-establish the touch. Crawling back up the bed Gio reached for a condom, the wrapper rustling as he tore it open, rolling it on to his hard cock and swiftly coating himself with lube.

Max felt a rough, sharp pain as Gio pushed into him recklessly, hissing at the sudden feeling. Gio froze, a look of anguish evident across his face.

"Don't stop!, Max implored. "Keep going, please.. please Gio". Wrapping his legs around the younger man he pulled him close, emphasising his urgent need, propelling his hips upwards to meet his thrusts. Gio picked up the pace when he was certain that he wasn't hurting Max, encouraged by the soft guttural groans that were escaping his lips. Rocking his hips upwards Max urged the younger man to penetrate him more deeply, letting himself be taken over by the dizzy, heady thrill. Amidst his pleasure Max could sense that Gio was close, could tell from his quickening breath and frantic thrusting that it wasn't going to be long. He didn't know how either of them had any stamina left after the last few days.  
  
"Gio, stop, I want to watch you, tell me when you're close" Max said, sitting up as Gio pulled out of him, removing the condom and rolling onto his back, allowing Max to take the head of Gio's cock in his mouth and lowering him down his shaft, taking him into the back of his throat as deep as he could manage. Gio thrust forwards, fucking Max's mouth with no regard for his comfort. This only made Max harder, straining for release but desperate to please Gio first and foremost.

"Max, now, Max...", Gio stuttered, pulling himself free of Max's mouth just as he reached climax, exploding everywhere and falling backwards in exhaustion. "Has anybody ever told you how great you are?, he panted, reaching for Max who flushed, the compliment making him feel uncomfortable. Reaching down he absentmindedly stroked himself, a willing distraction.

"Max wait, let me, wait a minute, don't come yet... I want you to do something for me. You have to not laugh at me okay because I can’t even believe that I’m admitting this but you shared so I guess I should too. I’m super nervous". Max looked at him quizzically, his hand halting at the base of his cock, tightening his grip as he tried to hold off his orgasm, focusing on Gio's glorious features, watching as he chewed his bottom lip in an unprecedented show of anxiousness.

"Is everything okay?".

"Yes of course. It's perfect. I just...." he paused, uncharacteristic shyness replaced by a steely determination. "I want you to fuck me Max".

Max let go of himself completely, turning onto his side so that he could look directly at him, scanning his face and seeing nothing but sincerity and longing. The admission surprised him. Gio had never shown any inclination previously and so he hadn't even contemplated that it would be on the cards.

"Really Gio, are you sure? Like now? I mean I would love to, I just don’t want you thinking that you have to do that, I'm fine with things as they are".

"I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure Max. I want you in every possible way. I mean, I’m not making any promises that this will ever happen again y'know ... but yeah I want to do this. Now".

"Have you ever-" Max started, brushing Gio's hair back from his face.

"Once. But I was wasted and I barely remember. I don’t want to remember. I want to, with you though. I’ve properly thought about it, I promise. I douched and all so I’m ready, you don’t need to worry about that". His voice was small, needy and irresistible, edging on desperate and Max would have given him anything that he wanted in that moment.

"I’m not worried, I just want you to enjoy it", Max responded tenderly, reaching out to touch Gio's face, drawing him into a tight embrace, their bodies burning with anticipation. "Only if you’re certain...".

"I am". The soft whisper tickled Max’s ear making the hairs all over his body stand on end. Max marvelled at how even a single word from those gorgeous lips had the ability to elicit such an all-over reaction.

Smiling, Max kissed him intensely, teeth tugging at Gio's lip gently before reluctantly leaving the comfort of the younger mans arms, going in search of the bottle of lube that had managed to roll off the bed and had nestled itself under the nightstand.

Returning to the bed Max climbed in between Gio's legs, touching and feeling his way down his body with his tongue, his mouth burning with an intensity that was almost unbearable. Gio was already starting to harden again and Max purposefully avoided that area, aiming lower and focusing his attention elsewhere, pulling Gio further down the bed, spreading his legs wider to allow better access.

"It’s a good thing I’ve had plenty of practice spreading my legs, just not normally in this context" Gio tried to joke, but tripped over the words as Max’s tongue set to work on his hole. Small mewls escaped his lips instead as Max pushed his tongue deeper into his entrance, exploring his lovers body. Max marvelled in the younger man's ability to look so perfect all the time. Glancing up from this vantage point at the glorious sight that met his eyes Max’s erection was straining for attention. Ignoring his own needs he began to slowly work a lube slicked finger into Gio, going slowly, judging from the moans of pleasure when he could add more pressure and increase the tempo.

"It feels better than I thought it would” Gio muttered between gasps, circling his nipples with his middle finger, eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

"Can you take one more, should I-?".

Gio nodded his head, his words at this point an inarticulate mess of sounds. Taking his time, Max introduced a second and then a third finger, feeling the tightness slowly stretch to accommodate the additional girth. Grabbing for the bottle of lube with his free hand Max went to squeeze some out on to his cock before realising that they would need a new condom.

"Shit!" He cursed under his breath, glancing up at the nightstand where the box lay, just out of arms reach. All the while Gio was oblivious to his fumbling, lost in the pleasure of the moment. Thanks to this mishap, the sheets were now covered in the sticky substance, effectively ruined.

"Babe, Gio? I’m going to need you to pass me a condom". The trance broke and Max could see Gio's focus return, looking down at him in mild confusion for a moment before realising what he’d asked.

"Oh, yeah hold on", he reached back while Max slowly removed his fingers from Gio, pulling on the condom in record time and applying a liberal amount of lube to his cock, smearing the residue around Gio's now slightly stretched hole. Max was overwhelmed with the warmth and tightness of Gio as he lined up their bodies and pushed himself inside slowly and gently.

"Ah! Shit! Max, slow down!", Gio grimaced, grabbing Max’s arms firmly and holding him at arms length, his grip tight, eyes closed and teeth clenched.

"Oh fuck I’m sorry, are you okay?! Babe...?".

"Yeah just give me a minute. Hold still so I can like, get used to it". Taking a deep breath Gio relaxed his grip on Max. "Kiss me", he commanded, eyes locked on Max’s, the authority burning with an intensity that made Max feel weak, willing. He reached down and locked his arms behind the younger man slowly lifting him, manoeuvring him gently, rolling backwards until they were both sat in an upright position, limbs locked around each other for support. Starting with Gio's neck Max trailed soft slow kisses up towards his mouth, relishing the tangy taste of salt from the sweat gleaming on Gio's perfect body.

"Let me know when you’re ready", he whispered in his ear continuing his assault of passionate kisses across his neck and shoulder, interspersing them with small nips which caused intense gasps of pleasure to tumble from Gio's lips, spurring him on.

"Okay, I'm ready. Let me...?".

"Yeah of course", he replied, readying himself for what was to come. Max closed his eyes, gasping, as he felt a tightening sensation around his cock whilst Gio tentatively started to work himself up and down, rising and falling in time with his laboured breathing. He ran his hands up and down Gio's back; comforting, reassuring and tender.

"Look at me", Gio moaned. Their eyes locked and this did nothing but intensify the pleasure Max was experiencing. This was so different from every other time they had fucked. Max felt like every nerve was ablaze, every sensation heightened as he slowly started to join Gio with his thrusts, their eyes never leaving each other. Both assuring the other that they were okay. The concentration on Gio's face was captivating, his brow furrowed slightly as he took more and more of Max’s cock deep inside of him. The connection he felt to this beautiful person more intense than it had ever been before.

Pulling Gio down with him, Max lay back relinquishing control to the younger man, feeling him test the waters, clenching his muscles tighter around his shaft. Gio picked up the pace and Max knew that he wasn't going to be able to hold off for much longer.

"Gio, I'm close...really close", Max breathed, thrusting upwards chaotically as he lost all sense of composure.

"Cum inside me Max, I want to feel it", Gio panted, not stopping his movements, caressing Max's chest, lightly scratching down his torso. This tipped Max over the edge and he felt his cock twitch uncontrollably as he came, Gio following suit moments later, climaxing forcefully, collapsing together in sheer exhaustion.

"Thank you", Gio murmured. "I wouldn't want to do that with anyone else, just you", Max allowed himself to be led back into Gio's arms, relaxing into the comforting embrace, a peaceful tranquillity settling over him.

"Anything for you Gio".


	13. Chapter 13

Max jumped, a load gasp of pain leaving his lips. Dragged into consciousness and letting out a groan he lifted Gio’s arm from where it had connected with his face, dropping it unceremoniously onto the bed as he rubbed the vestiges of sleep from his eyes.  
  
“You did it again”, he murmured, giving Gio a gentle shove on the shoulder. The younger man started, blinking up at him blearily.  
  
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”.

“Apart from the fact that you just punched me in the face again? Yeah...”.  
  
“Oh I’m sorry baby, don’t hate me...” Gio whined languidly, rolling over and caressing Max’s bicep lovingly.  
  
“You can make it up to me by going and making coffee...” Max suggested.  
  
“That wasn’t what I had in mind...” Gio whispered in a seductive slur, his voice still heavy with sleep, looking somewhat unimpressed at having to leave the confines of their cosy sanctuary and battle the extravagant coffee machine that neither of them knew how to work properly.  
  
“I’m sure it wasn’t” Max guffawed. “Coffee. Please. My head doesn’t feel great, even without my violent new alarm clock”.  
  
“I was sleeping, I didn’t do it on purpose” Gio pouted. “Where did I get you?”. Max pointed to his temple, rubbing it briefly, playing on the situation when Gio leaned across and kissed him tenderly on the offending area. Max half smiled before feeling Gio’s soft, wet tongue licking the same spot.  
  
“Ugh, you are absolute trash! Coffee, go!”. Max yelled, cringing away from him, pushing Gio back to his side of the bed and wiping his face with the back of his hand. Gio was laughing to himself uncontrollably, tears rolling down his cheek, his eyes creasing in the way that always made Max’s stomach jolt every time.  
  
“Just kissing it better! Okay, I’m going. I’m going!”. He scrambled out of bed with a mischievous grin, pulling on a hideous pair of animal print shorts that had been slung across the back of the high backed chair standing proudly in the corner and ruffling his hair. Max couldn’t help but smile at the sight, his annoyance dissipating.  
  
He must have dozed off again because the next thing he knew he was being gently shaken awake, the strong, bitter aroma of coffee permeating the air. Gio stood over him precariously balancing a tray laden with coffee and some toast -only slightly burned- which he set down on the nightstand, succeeding in knocking the rest of its contents to the floor.  
  
“Oops! I made breakfast too” he said with a grin. “Forgive me?”.  
  
“Mmm... all is forgiven. But for future reference I’m also okay with waking up without a black eye” he joked, reaching for the cup that was being offered to him.  
  
“Oh stop being dramatic! Anyway, it’d give you character. Make you look like a bad boy”. Max snorted, holding the cup up out of reach trying not to spill as Gio clambered over him back into bed, rather than just walking round the side like a normal person.  
  
“I don’t know if anybody would ever call me a bad boy”.  
  
“I’d call you anything you wanted me too” Gio responded quickly, gazing salaciously into Max’s eyes as he hovered over him, lowering his body suggestively, grinding ever so slightly against his crotch.  
  
“You are relentless! You’re going to have to give me a chance to recharge, you’ve tired me out. I don't know if I have it in me after last night, I’m not twenty one anymore” Max chastised half heartedly. “Plus you attempted food, it would be a shame to let it go to waste”.  
  
“It’s okay I’m good with just cuddles, I just thought you might... want to". Gio settled onto his side of the bed before continuing. "To be perfectly honest I’d even say that I like, prefer just lying here being next to you over anything else. Not that the sex isn’t great, it is -you are- I just guess it’s not that important to me. It’s just not the be all end all y’know? Don’t take that personally by the way. I don’t want you like... thinking there’s more to that than what I just said or whatever, I know where your brain will take you. I really do need to learn when to shut up don't I?” Gio rambled. Max squirmed under Gio’s gaze, battling with the sense of familiarity and understanding; he’d never known anyone who understood him so well, who knew what he was going to think before he even knew himself. It was reassuring yet also terrifying. Max wasn’t used to even contemplating letting somebody become this close, allowing them foresight into his inner most thoughts and feelings.  
  
“Can we stay here all day?” Gio asked, nestling himself back under the duvet, resting his head on Max’s chest, playing his hand gently across Max’s defined torso.  
  
“That sounds perfect” Max answered, thankful for the question which allowed him to gloss over Gio's admission, taking a sip of the scalding beverage; savouring the taste of the liquid and the comfort of the other man's touch.

They passed several hours flicking through channels, watching only snippets of shows before Gio would get bored and move onto something else, finally settling on a classic film that wasn’t receiving the full attention of either of them, sat as they were in companionable silence, which was regularly broken by the soft sound of their lips pressing together.  
  
"Max, can I ask you something...?". Gio's tone was slightly off and he looked at Max tentatively, his glance quickly drawing away, as if he couldn't finish the thought whilst looking directly at him. This piqued Max's interest. It wasn't like Gio to be this reserved, especially not when it was just the two of them.  
  
"Yeah, are you okay?".  
  
"Yeah of course I am, I'm fine. I was thinking and I just want to say something and get your opinion on it but I don't know if I'm just being dumb or whatnot".  
  
"You're probably not being dumb, is it something drag related?" Max responded only half paying attention, reaching across to take hold of Gio's hand, lacing their fingers together, marvelling at how perfect every aspect of him was in his eyes.  
  
"Kinda. No, not really". He looked distracted, maybe even nervous which in turn made Max's stomach tighten and ball up, apprehension building as he waited for Gio to continue, uncertain as to the cause of his turmoil.  
  
"Hey, what's up?!" Max squeezed Gio's hand tightly as he saw tears well up in Gio's eyes. "Did I do something wrong? Because I want you to tell me if I did. I know I'm an idiot sometimes but I love you and I don't want to see you upset". Max had pulled Gio closer to him, reaching to brush away a tear that he had been unable to hold back but he had pulled away from him, a wide grin spreading itself across his face, tears continuing to fall.  
  
"Really? Do you mean that?!"  
  
"Of course I don't want you to be upset, now what's wrong?" Max responded, completely missing the significance of the words he had just uttered, oblivious to the reason for the sudden change in Gio's demeanour.  
  
"You're seriously just going to gloss over the fact that you just told me you love me while I'm just sat here snivelling. Oh, and wondering how you can possibly even say that while I have snot running down my face". The look of joy mixed with a knowing smirk confused Gio's features, causing a misalignment of the perfect symmetry of his face and making him nothing if not more attractive than Max could ever recall. The tears beaded on his long eyelashes heightening his beauty, making Max feel dizzy.  
  
"Oh", was all he could respond. Max thought for a moment, caught off guard, summoning to his mind the words that had slipped past his lips so easily, so readily. As if they had been perched there just waiting for the right moment to present themselves.  
  
"I'm crying because I wanted to tell you that. But I honestly thought that you would freeze and like not say it back or tell me that you didn't feel the same way or something". Gio reached back down, pulling Max's hand to his plump mouth and kissing it gently. Max was silent, not entirely certain how to respond. He wanted to kick himself. He'd never intended to say this, wasn't sure if he ever would have said it, let alone before knowing if Gio felt the same way. But he had and Gio did. He'd just said so, if not in those exact words. And he couldn't take it back. He couldn't lie. He didn't want to.  
  
"Please don't turn around now and tell me you didn't mean it, I will actually die of embarrassment". Max could tell from Gio's nervous fidgeting that he needed to respond, he just wasn't certain if he could explain the complexity of his feelings without sounding like a cliché.  
  
"Ahh... I guess I hadn't really thought about it, but that doesn't mean I didn't mean it. I do". Max fought his instincts and stared directly into Gio's eyes as he said this, willing him to understand that whilst his words weren't perfect, neither was he and that shouldn't diminish the sincerity behind them.  
  
"No, I'm glad you weren't thinking about it too much, because it means that you actually mean it. You didn't have to force it, which would have been even worse because you are not a good liar and I have a tendency to be a bit of a brat when I don't get my own way and that would have been bad for both of us". Max chuckled at this.

"And anyway, now I get to say that I stayed in bed all day and made out with and watched shitty day time TV with the man I love. How cute is that?!". The beaming smile radiating from his face made the entire room seem brighter.

"You're so stupid", Max mumbled affectionately, pushing Gio's hair back from his face and planting a small peck on the tip of his nose.

"I know. But you still love me" Gio responded contentedly, settling himself back down into the comfort of Max's arms with a self satisfied grin.

"Unfortunately for you, yes, yes I do".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took forever, sorry! This last month has been the worst. Cheer me up by leaving me nice comments? Or tell me it's crap, your call.


	14. Chapter 14

The music was loud, but Max could feel it more than he could hear it, the vibrations from the speakers trembling through his body, pulling him towards the dance floor. 

The alcohol coursed through his body and he felt free, freer than he had in a long time. On a high from his performance, and rejuvenated following his break Max had decided to head out with the other queens after the show. For a change he allowed the drinks to flow freely; not restraining himself when he felt the inhibitions leave, when he knew he was drunk because he wanted to get up and dance, to play. Katelyn had handed him a drink which upon closer inspection had turned out to be water. After a single sip he had handed it back, laughing. 

"Not tonight Katelyn, it's time for cocktails!". 

A short while later he almost collided head first with a fellow dancer, having attempted an energetic spin that had soon spiralled outwith all control. Apologising quickly he noted that everything was off slightly. Like somebody had slowed down the playback on a film and he was watching it all unfold in slow motion. He shook his head, trying to focus on the words being spoken to him by the blurry stranger stood in front of him. It didn't help, but he didn't need to hear the words spoken aloud to get the drift of the context, reading the physical queues rather than listening to the words. The hand snaking around his back and pulling him in closer. The intense gaze not breaking his own. He didn't know this person but the authority with which he was now leading Max towards the parameter of the room made Max feel small. In the best possible way. Not to mention that the person leading him away was six feet something of pure glorious muscle. The light danced against his caramel skin, the light sheen of sweat visible only heightening the sense of overt masculinity that he radiated with such ease. Max allowed the alcohol and the moment to overwhelm him, beckoning him into gentle oblivion. 

***

Max woke slowly, relishing in the warmth of the body laying beside him. In hindsight he would recognise that it took him too long to come to the understanding that should have been painstakingly clear from the get go. The body behind him was too big, too solid, the breathing all wrong. It took him only a few more seconds to come to the dreaded realisation that it wasn't Gio. Wide awake now, a cold, feverish sweat breaking out over his body he lay, muscles tensed, not daring to look round. Only when he sensed movement behind him did he allow himself to wriggle out of the, now claustrophobic, hold of the stranger. Max found himself overcome with an agitated energy. With the uncertainty as to how to handle this situation combined with the sickening tightness in his stomach he found himself lurching from the bed, frantically dashing into the bathroom and closing the door hastily behind him. Finding the shorts that he had worn while getting ready the day before in a crumpled heap on the floor he pulled them swiftly on, keen to distance himself from the thoughts of his own naked body pressed up against anyone other than Gio. He waited, not entirely certain as to what to do. He felt like a scared animal that was backed into a corner but with a sobering moment of clarity he realised that he had backed himself into this corner. After a few more minutes had passed, and bringing himself up to his full height, he stepped back out into the room, hoping that he looked anything other than the bundle of nerves and self loathing that he was trying desperately to conceal. 

"Hey, everything good?". 

"You need to leave. Now. Get out". Max all but spat the words at him, more forceful than he had intended, in his bid to overcompensate for his internal floundering. 

"Oh but I thought I could stay for a little while and we could-". He didn't finish sentence, only pushed the sheets down from around his strong smooth chest, a clear suggestion of exactly what he thought could happen. 

"Out! Now!" Max hissed, aware that he must look deranged as he shuddered at the sight of this boys muscular body, now scrambling for discarded clothing. This shudder was one of sheer revulsion, the hairs on his body standing on end as he attempted to blank out the memories that were edging back into his consciousness; the touches, the sensations, the emotionless lust fuelled pleasure.

He stood resolutely in the corner of the room, gazing intently out of the window so as to avoid the need for any further awkward eye contact, only turning when he heard the door slam shut. The breath, that he didn't realise he had been holding, exhaled sharply and suddenly with unprecedented force from his chest. It felt like only seconds later, although it must have been considerably longer, when he was jerked back to reality. 

"Max..?". A small voice followed by a soft knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. Pulling the hotel robe on and fixing it around his shivering body, Max let Katelyn in forcing a cheerful smile and trying not to look guilty. 

"Hey, you're up early, did you sleep okay?". 

"Ummm yeah I guess. Are you okay?". Max frowned at the look of concern that was written all over Katelyn's face; as clear as day, her normally soft features hardened by something, as if tensed and ready to react at any instant. 

"Yeah of course" he lied, acting as if nothing had happened. Pretending, for not only Katelyn but himself too, that he didn't feel ashamed of what had transpired the previous evening. His friend let out a deep sigh and just stared at him blankly. 

"You haven't spoken to Gio have you?". 

"No I only woke up a few minutes ago. Is he okay?", Max's mind and heart started to race. What was going on? He looked around for his phone, not seeing it in any of the obvious places, hoping he hadn't lost it in the club the night before. 

"He knows Max". 

Max froze, his stomach sank and the internal panic kicked in at a more intense level. It ran like clockwork. Denial? Check. How could he possible know?! Gio was back home in New York. They guy, Max suddenly realised he didn't know his name, had only just left. Surely Katelyn must be joking, having him on, he hadn't even been aware that she knew. But she must know something.

"Knows what?". Max busied himself with the search for his phone, more aggressively this time, picking up and carelessly discarding clothes when the missing item wasn't nestled in their folds. 

"Max we all saw you leave with him". 

A moments heavy silence ensued and Max continued his search. Silently cursing himself, Max focused on breathing, he felt sick. Nervous energy causing his already fragile stomach to churn and lurch. 

"It was in the background of one of Asia's stories. She didn't do it intentionally, we didn't even know you were there. We thought you'd just gone to the bathroom or something but you could see the two of you kissing. It's not been a big thing online, and it was taken down pretty quickly. I don't think many people noticed it and the few that did have made a few thirsty comments and that's about it. But Gio called Asia after seeing it last night and she mentioned that you'd gone home with somebody. I had a text from Gio when he couldn't get hold of you. Apparently your phone was off. He knows Max". Katelyn perched on the arm of the well worn armchair situated in the corner of the room. 

"Fuck". Max didn't know what to say. The bile rose in his throat and he dashed to the bathroom, making it only just in time as the harsh liquid escaped his mouth, burning his throat. He was aware of how cold he was, with his knees resting against the frigid floor tiles. Now for good old irrational anger. Asia had outright told Gio that he had left with somebody. Why on earth would she do that? What made her think that it was okay to go around talking about other people's business like that? And Katelyn, Katelyn had heard from Gio last night and hadn't come to him. Hadn't told him or tried to knock some sense into him. He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth, avoiding looking at his reflection in the harsh overhead lights.

"I can't believe you let me leave with him", Max looked at his friend accusingly, glaring directly at her as he re-entered the room, anger overriding all other emotions and causing in him a foolhardy confidence in re-allocating the blame. Katelyn stood up defensively, her brow furrowing in confusion at the route the conversation had taken. This was quite clearly not the response she had been anticipating. Max himself didn't quite know where he found the gall for the statement that had just left his dry, broken lips. 

"Max you are a grown adult I can't stop you every time you decide to do something ridiculous, what did you want me to do sit on you? Besides, you don't even tell me what's going on. You haven't so much as mentioned Giovanni's name since you got back from California. For all I knew you weren't together. Now stop blaming me for this and take responsibility for your own actions". 

Max's glare faltered. 

"What is going on with you Max, seriously? You haven't been yourself recently and I don't know what to do with that. You haven't been that drunk for a long time. You and I both know what you were like the last time you got into that pattern. It wasn't cute. And you have so much more to lose now, and I'm not even talking about Gio. Your career Max. Look at everything that you've achieved and how far you've come. How far we've come. I hope that you know that I'll always be here for you but I can't pretend that I like what I see at the minute. I don't want you going... there... I don't know if I have the energy to drag you bag from the brink. Not again". 

These words were obviously difficult for her to verbalise. Katelyn shuffled from one foot to the other looking as if she was waiting for a hole in the ground to swallow her up. Max broke, hearing those words. He knew she was right. She generally was. She knew him well enough to know what his rational sane brain would say about the situation and didn't have the misfortune of all of the constant nagging self doubt that cluttered his thoughts, casting aspersions on his choices. 

"Come here, I'm sorry Max", she crossed the room and pulled him into a hug, "I just want you to be happy but you need to figure out what that looks like, and there's obviously something going on at the moment that you're not happy with. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation". 

"I've barely said anything... it's been more like a monologue". 

"Now's not the time to be smart Max. Speak to him. I'm going to go back to my room. I'll meet you in the lobby when we need to head to the airport". With that she squeezed his arm affectionately, the deep rooted concern still clearly etched across her face, and left, leaving Max alone to his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have two versions of the final chapter drafted but I'm not 100% sold on either and even at this point I'm not sure how this is going to play out. (Should I even bother asking how set y'all are on a happy ending..?)


	15. Chapter 15

Max sat on his bed, the windows open, the intense cold sharp against his naked torso, but he couldn't bring himself to shut the window or pull the blankets around him. He deserved every ounce of discomfort that he was feeling right now. He glanced sadly down at the postcard lying on his lap, the ink now blurred from his damp tears and the thick card worn from his grasp as it hadn't left his immediate vicinity since it had arrived a few days earlier. In an easier time. One in which he was still full of hope and happiness. One in which he hadn't monumentally screwed up everything that had been making him happy, giving him the energy to push through the darkness that never quite left his side.

Gio must have sent it a week or so after they had gotten back from their trip. It made things entirely worse now. To know that somebody knew him so deeply, knowing exactly the type of stupid thing that would make him smile. Knowing that twisted the knife deeper. Sending postcards was normally his thing. He recalled how he would mail them to friends and family unexpectedly, relishing in the intimacy and the personalisation of the penmanship that a text or an email simply couldn't convey.

"Bonjour! I know you like this sort of thing baby, I just wanted to let you know that I miss you and can't wait to see you. This tour bus sucks by the way and not just because you're not here. I'd write some other things but I don't know that the postal service would approve if you catch my drift... Soon Max, soon! All my love, G x".

Max could envisage Gio as he wrote it; his hand darting haphazardly across the card, the sly grin that he knew would have spread across his face at the, not so subtle, suggestiveness, the flourish after he signed his initial and the kiss. Max thumbed the card, re-reading the words for the umpteenth time, as if to memorise them in case they should ever fade, become illegible. He analysed the casual swooping grace of the lines that filled the page, feeling each one burn as if it had been torn into his skin.

He closed his eyes and allowed the numbing pain to flood his body. He deserved this, and Gio deserved better. Somebody who would treat him with the respect and dignity that somebody with Gio's joie de vivre and beauty warranted. Somebody who didn't try and hide their relationship from everyone and then run into the bed of the next person to throw him a cheap compliment, satisfying his sordid need for gratification and validation.

Max jolted from his stupor as his phone beeped, the vibration moving it slightly across the nightstand. Picking it up he disregarded the message, not even acknowledging it's contents or who it was from as soon as he realised that it was not Gio. Scrolling back to their conversation, he read the words that had been tormenting him.

**Gio:** Umm.... what's going on?

**Gio:** Max, tell me that was some sort of joke last night?

**Gio:** I can’t fucking believe you. You know what the worst part is? I had to find out on fucking Instagram. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me. It was just there for the whole world to see. But that doesn’t matter to you, who cares because nobody knew about us right? If everyone knew you would be done. I could do that Max.

**Gio:** You know Jordan told me this would happen? Told me I was stupid to even consider getting involved with you? Well congratulations you've just gone and proven him right. Congrtu-fucking-lations.

**Gio:** Answer the fucking phone you coward.

**Gio:** What happened? Couldn’t even go a few more days without getting off?!

**Gio:** Seriously you’re going to just ignore me? I need answers, you can't just do this to somebody and expect to walk away as if nothing ever happened.

**Gio:** Max just answer the phone. I just want to talk to you.

**Gio:** For fucks sake you're gonna have to talk to me at some point. You're going to have to explain what the hell happened. You may as well just do it now.

**Gio:** You need to help me understand this because I don’t. We were happy. Or I thought we were? Obviously I’m on another planet because it seems I was completely oblivious to whatever was going on in your head. As fucking usual.

**Gio:** I just want to know if it meant anything. That’s all. Surely that’s not too much to ask? You can’t just leave it like this. This isn’t just about you y’know.

**Gio:** I’m aware things were never gonna be a fairy tale or perfect or whatever but I thought things were going well. We were talking about the future for fucks sake. Was that all just bullshit? Were you just trying to get back at me from the start? Was it all a lie?!

**Gio:** I love you Max, please just call me. I’m not even angry now. I’m past that. Please call me.

**Gio:** What do I have to do? Do you want me to beg?

**Gio:** Max..?

**Max:** Not every fairy tale has a happy ending Giovanni. You deserve better. That’s not me. I’m sorry.

**Gio:** But I only want you. We can make this work, I can get over this. I know it’s not going to be easy but I want so badly to make this work Max. I’ve never wanted anything else as badly as this. I would give anything for you to just answer the phone for two minutes.

**Gio:** Please Max, I just want to hear your voice. Tell me what I need to do?

**Gio:** Seriously Max? Nothing? That’s all I get?

**Gio:** On what planet is a text apology really fitting in these circumstances? You don't even have the balls to say it to my face.

**Gio:** For goodness sake, please just answer me? Give me five minutes?

The messages and calls had been coming thick and fast for days. Nothing seemed to make them stop. There was no rhyme or reason as to when they would come. And all the while Max continued to put on the facade for the outside world who were oblivious to the unrest lying below the surface.. A front, focused and deliberate, indicating to the world that nothing was wrong. Nothing out of the ordinary or heart wrenching had happened to Maxwell Heller in the past week. He hadn't simultaneously broken his own heart and that of the person he cared for the most. No, loved the most. It was only behind closed doors that he allowed himself to acknowledge the self inflicted turmoil. Chastising himself yet telling himself that it was for the best. That it would have happened sooner or later and better to get it out of the way now before anything went too far, although he knew he was kidding himself. It should never have made it past a stupid advance made by an overly confident and liquored up young man in a dingy bar.

The phone screen brightened, jumping to the newest message that had arrived.

**Gio:** I’m outside. We need to talk, come open the door?

Max looked around in dismay, wishing that the ground would swell and swallow him whole. A sharp knocking could be heard even through his closed bedroom door. Panic flooded his system, his natural instincts telling him to get as far away from the door as possible. He silenced his phone and padded down the shadowy hallway, quiet, trying to steady his erratic breathing. A further knock at the door made him jump. He'd been expecting it but it was startling all the same.  
  
**Gio:** I know you’re in there. Let me in.

"Max it's me open the door please", came the voice from the other side of the solid barricade. Max's resolve weakened when he heard his voice, his hand instinctively reaching for the lock. He caught himself just in time, sliding his way down the wall and resting his back against the door. He focused his mind on the window in front of him, acknowledging every light, every flicker that graced the skyline, willing himself not to conceed to the temptations behind him. It would do neither of them any favours. He sat there for an age, bracing himself against the knocks on the door, the pleas to speak, to say anything.  
  
**Gio:** Max I can stay here all night. You can’t ignore me forever.

A frenzied banging rattled the door violently and Max's entire body jolted, feeling the vibrations against his back. Sat in the darkness, back against the wooden frame, silent tears streaming down his face, Max listed to Gio's desperate attempts to cajole him to open the door. The banging stopped. His phone screen lit up again, causing an eerie glow to illuminate his tear stained face.

**Gio:** Please babe, I just need to see you x

"Max... please. I know you can hear me, I know your apartments not that big". His tone was desperate now, and Max's stomach jolted when he heard the pain in his voice, imagining his wide eyes crinkled, tears forming and falling gracefully down his cheek.

Summoning the last ounce of strength he possessed Max's shaking fingers typed out a final message.

**Max:** Go home Giovanni. Please.

From his position he heard a buzz, then silence before a deep outlet of breath as he heard Gio give a resigned sigh on the other side of the door. A final thud pounded dully against the door. He'd kicked it this time, that hadn't been the sharp rapping of his fist against the wood, and moments later - the falling of footsteps, at first a sharp echoing staccato, quieted as Gio walked down the hallway, finally admitting defeat.

Raising himself from his seated position Max walked across to the large window overlooking the street below. Careful to stay out of eyesight, he waited until he saw the younger man exit his building, pulling his coat further around him as he faced the chill New York weather. He paused momentarily, as if uncertain where to go, before decisively turning on his heel and striding away with only a quick backwards glance over his shoulder. Max had thought for a moment that he might turn around and walk right back in there. He silently hoped. Watching Gio walk away felt like the hardest thing he would ever have to do. His entire body was weak and his mental resolve all but diminished. Max gave in to the intensity of the emptiness that battered against him, dropping to his knees, his body convulsing violently. All he'd wanted was to be able to control these emotions, contain them in a desperate bid to hold on to something that could have been... that had been...No. He couldn't go there. He wouldn't. If not for his own sanity for Gio's. It was all for Gio. The threadbare rug beneath him was course against his skin. He could feel every fiber scratching at him as if every nerve in his body was on fire. No he couldn't let his mind drift back there, let the memories that were too painful seep back into his subconscious and cause him to change his mind. He needed to do what he had set out to do in the first place; regain his composure and handle the situation. Max laughed dryly as he righted himself and used the windowsill to haul his drained body upright, steering himself back towards his room. It was ironic really. The upper hand didn't feel so good anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost didn’t post this because I was low key scared that you would all hate it. I had a fuck it moment and posted anyway and having seen one comment of somebody saying that they enjoyed it I feel 100x better. I know it’s going to maybe disappoint some people but I couldn’t see this going any other way and I’m at a stage where I needed the fic to come to an end. Thank you to anyone who has followed this and anyone who took time out to share their appreciation along the way x


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